Mother’s Day is here again, the one day in the year that we are encouraged to honor our mothers. And mothers should be honored. There is no one else who has given more for her children than a mother. Now, I need to qualify this some. All mothers do not meet this standard. There are some mothers who for different reasons are not nurturing, who do not give their children what they need. Some of you reading this had a mother like that. Some of you have nurtured your mothers, have been to your mothers what they could not be for you. God bless you. You have been able to rise above your circumstances and be for others what they should have been for you. You are given permission to skip most of the rest of this, for it does not apply to you.
A few other qualifiers, or disqualifiers, are in order. I feel somewhat of a hypocrite writing this. My mother passed away in 1998. You can read my love story to her in my May 4, 2016 Blog Post, which you can access at www.fralixgroup.com.
My mother and I had a troubled relationship for many years, and I did not do what I am recommending that you do to honor your mother. Oh, how I wish I had more time to do so. But when time is over, it is over. That is one of my main messages. I learned that lesson the hard way.
I want to make it clear that I am not referring to my children in these words. If they find themselves here, so be it. But I am not using this platform to send them a message I do not have the courage to deliver to them in person.
I have had several conversations with mothers lately, and the themes in those conversations are similar. When talking about her daughter, one woman said, “How do I say this kindly? Well, I will just say it. My daughter is indifferent to me.” This mother moved to the town she lives in to be close to her daughter. And her daughter is indifferent to her?! Go figure. This daughter is a high-powered executive who makes a lot of money. I hope her money keeps her company in her later years, for I don’t know if she will have relationships that will. Her mother seems to be resigned to the reality of their relationship, and has an otherwise full life, but how sad that she and her daughter do not have the relationship they could.
I spoke with an older couple whose son and family live near them. There have been some health issues with their son recently, and we were talking about how he is. They looked so sad when they said, “You know, we don’t really know what is going on. They do not call, and don’t seem to want us to.” This couple moved to the area where their son and family live to be closer to them since they, the parents, were getting older; but for what reason? To be faced with the reality that the relationship is not what they would want it to be? It would be easier to be states away and be able to excuse the lack of attention being due to the physical distance.
We are encouraged to buy presents for and/or send flowers to our mothers in honor of them on Mother’s Day. I love flowers and gifts, and many other mothers do as well. But that is one day, and that is easy. What are you doing the other 364 days of the year?
Do you call your mother just to see how she is doing? And I do mean call, not text or email. Your mother loves to hear your voice, wants to talk to you, to have conversation with you, to catch up on what is going on in your life and in the lives of your family. If you only call to give information, and fail to ask how your mother is doing, you are missing an important connection. And you can call at least once a week; that doesn’t take much time, does it? What are you doing that is more important than checking in on and talking to your mother? Believe me about this; you will long for time to talk to your mother when she is gone.
There is more that I could say, but nothing more important.
Just call your mother.