Mother’s Day has come and gone, and Father’s Day is soon to be upon us. While we have many holidays throughout the year, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day have a special connotation. There are probably no other holidays that have the emotional issues attached to them as these two. Of all the relationships we have in life, our relationship with our mothers and fathers are among the most important.
Now, we are not naïve enough to think that all mothers and fathers are good and nurturing, and that our relationships with them sets us up for success in our future endeavors. There are mothers and fathers who are ill equipped for parenting, and while many of them do their best to be for us what we need, some of them fail in that endeavor. When we have lived enough years to understand these things, we can put them into the proper perspective. While as children we may look to our parents for love, as adults we sometimes need to move past these childhood desires and look for love in different places.
Some reading this have accepted their parenting situations and no longer expect their parents to be what they incapable of being. In some of these situations the children have become the parents of their parents.
Others reading this have chosen their friends as their family, finding in them the nurturing and love that escaped them in their nuclear families. Many find in their friends the families they never had.
Then there are those who have created the families they wished they themselves had experienced. These individuals are blessed to have been able to rise above their circumstances, to not expect anything more than they receive from their families, and yet who have created the families they wished they had been given.
Where are you looking for love? Is it in the wrong places? Are you expecting something from others that they are not able to give? As adults, we should be mature enough to look for love in all the right places. But, what are those places?
Look first within. Look within yourself to find the love that you are missing from others. Not in an arrogant way, but in a self-confident way. If you love yourself, you will likely be more loving to others. It just does not usually happen the other way around.
Then look to those who show you love in the ways that matter. Those who cherish you, who use loving words when they speak with you. Those who do not put you down. Those who are not competitive with you. Those who show you in a myriad of ways that you are important to them. These are the people whom you can count upon.
If you are blessed enough to have grandchildren, grandchildren who know how to show love, you are blessed indeed. Children are not usually good at hiding their feelings; if they like you, you know it; and if they don’t, you know that as well! And when your grandchildren love you, that is love beyond measure!
Looking for love in all the right paces. That can be from within. It can also be with others, others who you know from experience love you.
And those grandchildren; WOW; love beyond measure!