It's In The Sauce!

Getting Things Done During Weather Disruptions

Posted on January 31, 2026 by Patti Fralix

In North Carolina we have had two significant weather disruptions in the past week. The first was last weekend, when many in our area were sequestered in their homes over the weekend due to extremely cold weather, snow, sleet and ice. Although power outages were anticipated, thankfully, we did not have any power outages in our area. What we did have was the need to stay indoors and wait for the temperature to rise enough to melt the ice so that driving conditions were safe. Schools were closed, which did not affect me and my husband, but certainly did affect many parents and children. Most people heeded the warnings to stay put. Stay put, and do what?

Since we had plenty of notice of the expected weather disruptions, I had made sure to have enough food to cook if we had power, and enough food that did not require cooking if we lost power. I had books to read. I kept my devices fully charged and had an external device to charge the devices if we lost power. I had flashlights, batteries, and candles. I filled the bathtub with water that could be used to flush the toilets, and I had bought water and ice. I was ready!

I also had plenty of things that I could do to stay busy, although some of those things are not what I wanted to do. In the category of “things I could do that I did not want to do” was clean the house, clean out a closet, and polish silver frames. I did all of those things, although the cleaning I did was not cleaning of the entire house. I also rearranged some decorative items.

I enjoyed the opportunity to get some things done that I had put off doing. I decided that being productive was more important to me than having down time and doing things that were more enjoyable, such as reading. I knew that I would feel better if this time was spent doing things that are hard to find the time to do when life is “normal.”

Our second weather disruption was this weekend. In the Raleigh/Durham area where we live, we waited two days for what was expected to be a snow accumulation of 3-6 inches, and all we received (as of now) is a sprinkling of snow. Thankfully, again, we had no power outages. What we have had is businesses closed and many people waiting on snow that did not appear. While I am grateful for safety and am certainly not complaining about another couple of days of “down time,” I do regret that businesses lost revenue at a time when sales are usually slow already. While some parts of our state and other states did have lots of snow, many of us waited for snow that failed to appear.

This weekend I spent all of my time in the kitchen, cooking. I was reminded of Covid, when I did the same. I made Chicken Pot Pies, Beef Pot Pies, and Aggression Cookies. I even braved the frigid temperature and some snow on driveways to take one of my neighbors some cookies. This particular neighbor brought us a pumpkin loaf when we moved in a couple of years ago, and I will always remember her thoughtfulness.

If you follow my blog, you may have noticed that I have not posted a blog all month. I have not decided what to do about this blog. While I enjoy writing and sharing my musings with others, I have not decided how long I will continue the blog. But I decided that I am not quite ready to quit. My first blog was published January 2015, and for most of this time, I posted weekly, or at least a couple of times a month. That changed when my very able assistant, Gina, was no longer able to help me with the technical aspects of the blog. I have struggled since then. I have had to learn how to post on WordPress, including how to post photos. It has been a struggle. But I have a hard time letting go of this. You may know from earlier posts that I have a hard time letting go of anything! So why should the blog be any different?

Well, this is the last day of January, and my pride would not let me have a month go by without posting a blog. Although I started this blog post last week, I am only now finishing it.

I am looking for a sign to know what to do about whether to continue the blog, or not. I would love to hear from you about this decision.

Stay safe, warm, and productive!

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2025 is a Wrap

Posted on December 31, 2025 by Patti Fralix

Another year is in the history books, or technically, is about to be. How has 2025 been for you? While there isn’t much we can do on this very last day of the year, it is good to do a review as we begin 2026.

I have had a lot of time on my hands these past two weeks. While I had planned to be traveling, not thinking that I would be home much, that did not turn out to be the case at all. You may recall that I did not put up a Christmas tree for this reason. Life changed on us, and Mike and I both had a bad case of Pneumonia. So, for the first time ever, I was not able to travel to see our GA grandchildren on Christmas. Nor did I see much of our grandchildren who live ten minutes from us, since they, as well as we, were sick. It has been quite an unusual Christmas. Thankfully, we seem to all be well for the moment, and will be with our local grandchildren and celebrate Christmas on New Year’s Day, and will fly to GA on Sunday to celebrate Christmas with our family there. So we ended up putting up a (tabletop) tree after all. But more about that later.

With excess time on my hands, I have been doing some cleaning out of files. I came upon some important things to think about. As we end this year, perhaps these will be meaningful to you.

From a book I read long ago, It’s Not About the Coffee, a few thoughts.

What keeps you/me from having passion, purpose, and persistence in my/our life and work?
What am I about to give up on that may need a little more commitment, time, or persistence?
Have I/you reached an impasse when we need to change our approach?
We should use our principles to lead us to our next action.

If we want to have an impact, if we aspire to make a difference, then we better start doing it. Nothing is worse than wasting our life in the false comfort of inaction. This is from a book by Robert Greenleaf, The Servant Leader.

Important thoughts to think about on this very last day of 2025. While it is too late to do much about this year that is about to be a wrap, we have an entire new year to be all that we want to be, and do all that we want to do. If we start, and work through our goals, that is.

What is my goal? What is my one overarching goal for 2026? Why do I want it? How will I, and others, benefit if I accomplish it? How can I reach my goal? What is my date of intended completion? What are the action steps necessary to accomplish this goal? To be successful with this I must write it all down. Trying to keep it in my head will not work. I must commit this to writing. More about that in future posts.

Now, about our 2025 Christmas tree. When my local family (specifically MoMo and Lolly) knew that Mike and I would be in town for Christmas after all, and we did not have a Christmas tree, they brought us one! Lolly said It was MoMo’s idea, but she was in Canada for the holiday. So she enlisted Lolly to get us a tree. Lolly showed up at our front door with a partially decorated tabletop tree! It was beautiful, and still is!! I am so thankful for their thoughtfulness. I thoroughly enjoyed completing decorating the tree, and have so enjoyed having it as a bright spot while Mike and I recovered.

We also had food sent to us by daughters Tara and Chatham, and Lolly. Lolly also went to the grocery store and brought us food to keep us nourished, and sent plates of her Christmas meal to us. These gifts of time, food, and our Christmas tree made an otherwise difficult situation manageable. While being sick at Christmas was not what we had planned, when others reached out and took care of us, we felt the spirit of Christmas in tangible ways.

Goodbye to 2025, and hello to 2026. May all of your dreams come true.

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A Different Christmas

Posted on December 12, 2025 by Patti Fralix

I never thought I would be the one to say this, but I am not putting up a Christmas tree this year. There were years that I had five trees, and many other Christmas decorations. This year, there will not even be one. I struggled with this decision, but finally decided that it makes no sense to put a tree up when we are not home to enjoy it but a few days.

I feel guilty about the times I voiced my opinion to others who made the same decision, expressing that I did not understand how someone would not put up a Christmas tree. The ones who were expressing that they were not going to have a christmas tree were older, as I am. They were not expecting any children in to visit. Some had a table top tree. I thought of having a tabletop tree, but decided that such would not be a good use of funds, since we still would not be home enough to enjoy the tree.

A couple of years ago we bought our first artificial tree, and it is 8’ tall. While that was a hard decision to make, to change from a live tree to an artificial one, it was the right decision to make. It is so much easier to pack up the artificial tree at the end of the season, and take it out at the beginning of the next season. Even so, it did not seem the thing to do this year.

We have many tree decorations, having collected them through the years. There are so many that we cannot use them all on one large tree. I need to go through them and decide which ones to keep, which one to give to our children and grandchildren (understanding that they may not want any of them!) and what to do with the rest. Just thinking about this process wears me out!

This really isn’t about Christmas, it is about Change. There are other possessions that I need to view in the same way. I have so many dishes, and we rarely entertain, and when we do, such as at Thanksgiving, I have dishes for that holiday. I need to choose which dishes to keep, and get rid of the others. This is easier for me to write about than to do. I love China, Crystal, and Silver, and do not really want to part with any of it. But I really need to. My cabinets are full of items I will likely never use.

There is also the issue of casserole dishes, serving bowls, and cooking utensils. I have entirely too many of all of these. I have bought them through the years as I found them and loved them, at a time when we were living a very different lifestyle, especially entertaining. We are no longer living that lifestyle and will never again, so it is time to accept that and rid ourselves of the excess.

Change isn’t easy. But when we allow ourselves to let go of what we no longer need (if we ever needed it!) we may be amazed at how much lighter we feel.

Are there things you are holding onto that you no longer use or need? Can you give yourself permission to let go? I recommend it, recognizing that my journey in this is by no means complete.

Happy Holiday to you and yours. We know the season is about more than trees, ornaments, and gifts. Other than the gift of Jesus.

Jesus is the reason for the season.

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Truisms

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Patti Fralix

“No matter how good or bad things are, they are never permanent. Nothing stays the same, no matter how much you want it to.” That is why it is so important to live in the present, not grieving for the past, or overly anticipating the future. This truism is not intended to be morbid, just reality. We should give thanks for our blessings, and learn from our problems.

“If we have a big enough ‘Why,’ and the ‘What’ and ‘How,’ we can manage most any challenge. “This might be hard to wrap our heads around without a concrete example. My “Why” for eliminating alcohol from my life in 2019 was to lose weight. I did that, and as that change became a part of me, I not only lost weight (50 pounds,) I felt better. My “What” for that change became more than weight loss; it became to be healthier overall. My “How” was to eliminate all alcohol from my life. That decision was the absolute right one for me in 2019, and it remains so six and a half years later. While at times it has not been an easy change, since alcohol use is very prevalent in our society, my ‘Why,’ ‘What,’ and ‘How’ have remained clear.

“One Decision Can Change Your Life.” If there is anything holding us back from living our best life, we need to have the courage to make a change. This change may ultimately be a positive one, although it may not feel that way initially. It is sometimes so much easier to keep on keeping on, even when doing so is wearing us out. The example of this that comes to mind for me is my husband and my decision to sell our home and downsize in early 2023. We were not clear about our next steps, but we know it was time to take that initial first step. The house and property was too large for us to keep up. We were (and now, are even more so!) aging, and needed to simplify our lives. While we are still not clear on our next steps, we know that first step was the right one. Our lives are simpler, with less house stress. We moved into a much smaller home in a 55 and older neighborhood. While there are some things about our current home and neighborhood that I do not like, I do like the ease and simplicity of it.

“Nothing stays the same, no matter how much we want it to.” “If we have a big enough ‘Why,’ and the ‘What’ and ‘How,’ we can manage most any challenge.” “One decision can change our lives.” Think on these truisms. Think on them as they apply to you and your life, and have the courage to move in the direction they lead you. Don’t try to figure it all out before you move forward. Just take the next first step.

Enjoy this upcoming last week before the Thanksgiving rush, and protect your energy level. Remember, it isn’t as much about the food that is on the table as it is about those loved ones with whom we gather.

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Think On These Things

Posted on November 9, 2025 by Patti Fralix

Sometimes the well is dry. No words will come. I am having one of those days. So, it is hard for me to attempt to inspire anyone with my words. When I have these times, which thankfully isn’t often, I look to the words of others to inspire me. I will show those words in pictures. I hope that you enjoy them.

I hope that you have had a restful and peaceful weekend, and that your upcoming week is all that you want it to be.

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One Decision Can Change Your Life

Posted on November 1, 2025 by Patti Fralix

On a recent TV commercial a statement was made that “One decision can change everything.” I thought about that for a few minutes and decided that “one decision changing everything” is too much of a reach. But I do believe that one decision can change our lives. I thought of a couple of decisions that I made that changed my life. Perhaps you can also think of decisions that changed your life. The change that decisions make can be positive or negative. On this first day of a new month, I choose to focus on the positive.

The decision that came immediately to my mind is my decision in 2019 to stop drinking alcohol. More than six years ago, on a Wednesday night, I made the decision to stop drinking alcohol. When I made that decision, I could never have imagined how my life would improve.

The reason I decided to stop drinking alcohol was to lose weight. I had tried many other things, to no avail. I recall saying many times, “I am not going to give up my Chardonnay!” To this day I do not know why and how I was able to make that decision on that particular night, quitting immediately. But I did.

At the time, I did not plan that it would be a forever decision. But as the months turned into years, I decided that I felt better and had no good reason to return to that behavior. I did lose the weight (50 pounds,) which did not come from just not drinking alcohol. But that decision was a stimulus that made the other changes happen.

I do not know what my readers are dealing with, what changes they need to make. But I know that they know. It is a nagging thought and feeling that comes periodically, and is pushed aside. I had nagging thoughts and feelings, and pushed them aside. Until I didn’t. Until I made the decision to change. And that decision changed my life.

I have found 9 of those 50 pounds that I lost, and I am not ok with that. I plan to do something about that soon. I have been going up and down two pounds for months, and it is time to get serious again and lose those 9 pounds, or at least 5 of them.

This is a hard time of the year to lose weight, so I may decide to hold where I am through the end of the year. I may focus on losing 5-9 pounds beginning in January.

What about you? Is there a change you want to make that will change your life? Is there something nagging at you? Is it time to pay attention to it and do the work to be your best self?

I am cheering for you as you decide.

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Communication Basics

Posted on October 26, 2025 by Patti Fralix

I realize that I am old school, and some of my opinions come from that perspective. But old school or not, I think we need a refresher on communication basics. So here goes.

The appropriate response time for an email is within 24 hours. Yes, 24 hours. Not several days, not a week, and certainly, not no response! Unless an email is for information only, not requiring a response, we are considered rude if we do not reply, and do not reply in a timely manner. Do we really think people have time to send emails that require a response, and have to send a second email, and maybe a third, to get a response? Even if we do not have an answer yet, are not sure when we will, some response is required. Be aware that in this day of technology glitches, if we do not respond, the sender does not know if the email reached the intended recipient. Save the sender and yourself time by replying within 24 hours, with as much information as you have at that point.

2. Texts also require a response, and the same 24-hour rule applies. Actually, a case can be made that texts require a quicker response than within 24 hours. Many people use texting for quick information sharing and expect a fairly immediate response. Which means that we should check our messages several times a day, which requires very little time to do. I am amazed at the lack of responses to texts. Again, if we are asked a question to which we do not know how to respond, then a reply stating we will be back in touch with an answer later today, tomorrow, or whenever is the appropriate response. Just respond.

3. Phone calls are not as common these days as emails and texts. But if we are left a message on voicemail, we should respond in a timely manner. And yes, the same 24-hour rule applies here as well. I have some family members and friends who do not listen to messages, so I have learned to not leave them one. I just call them again, or use an alternative communication method. I had to figure this out on my own, however, since none of my contacts who do not listen to messages told me this. I would have appreciated it if they had.

The other side of this issue is that we should not waste others’ time. We should be efficient in what we send to others, and only expect a response when we need one. Note I said “expect” a response. Even if a response is not needed, it is gracious to let the sender know that we received what we were sent. A “got it,’ is sometimes sufficient.

I am sure there is more that I could add to these points. But I hope you get the point. It is rude to not reply to emails, texts, and messages. And life is difficult enough without us being rude.

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RANDOM ACTS

Posted on October 12, 2025 by Patti Fralix

We have all heard of “Random Acts of Kindness.” There are many examples of “Random Acts of Kindness.” It seems that life is getting more difficult in many ways. When others offer us kindness, we are able to rise above our problems and see the good in the world and in others. Without necessarily even meaning to do so, we begin to pay it forward.

I was the recipient of a random act of kindness a couple of days ago. I was shopping in a store, and noticed a small seedling that was potted, and I thought it was a Norfolk Pine. I asked the shop owner if it was a Norfolk Pine, and he said, “No, it is a Cypress.” He then asked, “Would you like one?” I said, “Yes,” fully expecting to pay for it. But he told me to pick out the one I wanted, and he would not let me pay for it.

The value of the gift of the Cypress seedling by the shop owner was not In its monetary value, for the monetary value was small. The value was in the shop owner’s thoughtfulness, because that was priceless. I was so touched by the kindness shown me. It was such a simple thing, but profound in its meaning.

While it is important o notice the random acts of kindness shown us by others, it is important for us to intentionally show kindness to others. The shop owner’s random act of kindness brought to mind something I have been doing recently. I have been making individual chicken pot pies, (with homemade crust!) and gifting them to friends, in a somewhat random manner. There hasn’t really been a plan to give friends a chicken pot pie, but that is what I have been doing on a somewhat regular basis. I have never thought of this as an act of kindness, but I can see that it is. I do not say this to brag, but to share. The joy that my pot pies have brought to those who have received them makes the effort (and little bit of expense) more than worth it. This experience has shown me how much more the giver receives than the recipient.

I usually give three examples of my message. The two I mentioned came to me easily. The third one that comes to mind is an example of a random act, but not a random act of kindness. It is a random act of violence.

Mike and I have owned property on Oak Island, NC since the late 1990’s. Southport is the island’s mainland, and it is a fifteen minute drive from the island. We think of the entire area as our second home. Southport is the setting of author Nicholas Spark’s Safe Heaven. This quaint seaport town has long been a safe haven. After the random act of violence that happened on September 27, 2025, Southport may no longer be considered a safe haven.

On September 27, 2025 just before 9:30pm a forty-year-old resident of Oak Island pulled up to a Southport waterfront bar by boat and started shooting. Three people were killed and eight others were injured. To date, no motive has been determined. The shooter is a military veteran who has been determined to have mental health issues. Two of those who were killed were tourists and one was a resident who had retired to the area approximately one year ago. This shooting appears to have been a random act of violence as far as the shooting victims are concerned.

The subject of mental illness is beyond the scope of this blog post. The subject of the random act of violence it represents is well within the scope of this blog post. Specifically, how do we reconcile the difference in random acts of kindness and random acts of violence? What makes one person gift a seedling to a customer and another shoot innocent people? I have no idea. Any points I could make about this difference could trivialize the difference. While I admit that I do not know what accounts for the difference, I do know that as a society we need to figure out the difference. For we have too many killings and not nearly enough acts of kindness.

We all need to be committed to showing kindness to others, and search our hearts for ways to do so. Then we need to follow through. While our intentions are important, our actions are more important.

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Be Consistent, Determined, and Work For It!

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Patti Fralix

Mel Robbins is a phenomenal success. Her book, Let Them, and her podcasts are immensely popular. I have read her book, and found it to be one of the best self help/business books that I have read. I am definitely a fan of hers. Unlike many other popular gurus, she has meat on the bones, not just platitudes. If you haven’t read Let Them, by all means, do.

I was listening to Mel Robbins’ podcast, Let Them, on a recent walk. She quoted something Tom Brady said: “To have what we want, we must “Be Consistent, Determined, and Be Willing to Work for It.” I decided that thought is worthy of a blog post.

Being Consistent does not mean that we should be rigid. There is a difference in consistency and rigidity. Rigidity is more legalistic, whereas consistency allows for changes in our routine, yet those changes are not based on our whims. Consistency has at its foundation credibility, not necessarily rules and regulations. People who are consistent can be counted on to do what they say they are going to do, most of the time. Others can trust the word of the person whose behavior is (usually) consistent.

Being Determined means that we have a process and a plan to do what we say we are going to do. Similar to being consistent, the person who is determined can be trusted to do what they should do, or what they say they are going to do. I am determined to walk two miles every day that I can, and usually do so, although not as often when I am traveling. I do not walk in the rain, however. So, I am consistent and determined about my daily walk, although not rigid in that I walk everyday, regardless.

Being Willing to Work for Whatever we say Is Important to us is not as easy to describe as being Consistent and Determined. In fact, I could improve upon the words in this part of Tom Brady’s quote by changing it to “Work for Whatever we say is Important to us.” The obvious change is taking out the “Being Willing.” We could be “willing” and yet fail to execute. I prefer the language of “Work for Whatever we say is Important to us.”

“Working for whatever we say is important to us” involves doing the not so fun stuff of executing. To me, it includes knowing what it is that is important to us, and having a process for accomplishing our goals directed to those things. This must include clarity of our goals, staying focused on them routinely, and adjusting them as needed. This usually requires that they be in writing, since it is impossible to stay focused on those if they are only in our head.

What do you think? Are you focused on what you want to accomplish in the last quarter of the year? There are three months left until the end of 2025. Have you done what I suggested a few blog posts ago, setting one goal that you accomplish each week between now and the end of the year? Be honest with yourself.

It isn’t too late, yet, but it will be sooner than we think. These three months will pass so quickly, with several major holidays in addition to life’s other priorities. If you haven’t gotten started yet, please do. We are still in the first week of this last quarter, and there is still time.

Be Consistent, Determined, and Work for Whatever it is that is Important to You.