It's In The Sauce!

One Decision Can Change Your Life

Posted on November 1, 2025 by Patti Fralix

On a recent TV commercial a statement was made that “One decision can change everything.” I thought about that for a few minutes and decided that “one decision changing everything” is too much of a reach. But I do believe that one decision can change our lives. I thought of a couple of decisions that I made that changed my life. Perhaps you can also think of decisions that changed your life. The change that decisions make can be positive or negative. On this first day of a new month, I choose to focus on the positive.

The decision that came immediately to my mind is my decision in 2019 to stop drinking alcohol. More than six years ago, on a Wednesday night, I made the decision to stop drinking alcohol. When I made that decision, I could never have imagined how my life would improve.

The reason I decided to stop drinking alcohol was to lose weight. I had tried many other things, to no avail. I recall saying many times, “I am not going to give up my Chardonnay!” To this day I do not know why and how I was able to make that decision on that particular night, quitting immediately. But I did.

At the time, I did not plan that it would be a forever decision. But as the months turned into years, I decided that I felt better and had no good reason to return to that behavior. I did lose the weight (50 pounds,) which did not come from just not drinking alcohol. But that decision was a stimulus that made the other changes happen.

I do not know what my readers are dealing with, what changes they need to make. But I know that they know. It is a nagging thought and feeling that comes periodically, and is pushed aside. I had nagging thoughts and feelings, and pushed them aside. Until I didn’t. Until I made the decision to change. And that decision changed my life.

I have found 9 of those 50 pounds that I lost, and I am not ok with that. I plan to do something about that soon. I have been going up and down two pounds for months, and it is time to get serious again and lose those 9 pounds, or at least 5 of them.

This is a hard time of the year to lose weight, so I may decide to hold where I am through the end of the year. I may focus on losing 5-9 pounds beginning in January.

What about you? Is there a change you want to make that will change your life? Is there something nagging at you? Is it time to pay attention to it and do the work to be your best self?

I am cheering for you as you decide.

Posted in best self, business, change, conflict, family, gratitude, hope, Leadership, life, love, Relationships, SAUCE, service, social media, thankful | Tagged business, change, diet, family, fitness, Fralix, friends, health, life, mental health, Patti Fralix, relationships, The Fralix Group, weight loss | Leave a comment

Communication Basics

Posted on October 26, 2025 by Patti Fralix

I realize that I am old school, and some of my opinions come from that perspective. But old school or not, I think we need a refresher on communication basics. So here goes.

The appropriate response time for an email is within 24 hours. Yes, 24 hours. Not several days, not a week, and certainly, not no response! Unless an email is for information only, not requiring a response, we are considered rude if we do not reply, and do not reply in a timely manner. Do we really think people have time to send emails that require a response, and have to send a second email, and maybe a third, to get a response? Even if we do not have an answer yet, are not sure when we will, some response is required. Be aware that in this day of technology glitches, if we do not respond, the sender does not know if the email reached the intended recipient. Save the sender and yourself time by replying within 24 hours, with as much information as you have at that point.

2. Texts also require a response, and the same 24-hour rule applies. Actually, a case can be made that texts require a quicker response than within 24 hours. Many people use texting for quick information sharing and expect a fairly immediate response. Which means that we should check our messages several times a day, which requires very little time to do. I am amazed at the lack of responses to texts. Again, if we are asked a question to which we do not know how to respond, then a reply stating we will be back in touch with an answer later today, tomorrow, or whenever is the appropriate response. Just respond.

3. Phone calls are not as common these days as emails and texts. But if we are left a message on voicemail, we should respond in a timely manner. And yes, the same 24-hour rule applies here as well. I have some family members and friends who do not listen to messages, so I have learned to not leave them one. I just call them again, or use an alternative communication method. I had to figure this out on my own, however, since none of my contacts who do not listen to messages told me this. I would have appreciated it if they had.

The other side of this issue is that we should not waste others’ time. We should be efficient in what we send to others, and only expect a response when we need one. Note I said “expect” a response. Even if a response is not needed, it is gracious to let the sender know that we received what we were sent. A “got it,’ is sometimes sufficient.

I am sure there is more that I could add to these points. But I hope you get the point. It is rude to not reply to emails, texts, and messages. And life is difficult enough without us being rude.

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RANDOM ACTS

Posted on October 12, 2025 by Patti Fralix

We have all heard of “Random Acts of Kindness.” There are many examples of “Random Acts of Kindness.” It seems that life is getting more difficult in many ways. When others offer us kindness, we are able to rise above our problems and see the good in the world and in others. Without necessarily even meaning to do so, we begin to pay it forward.

I was the recipient of a random act of kindness a couple of days ago. I was shopping in a store, and noticed a small seedling that was potted, and I thought it was a Norfolk Pine. I asked the shop owner if it was a Norfolk Pine, and he said, “No, it is a Cypress.” He then asked, “Would you like one?” I said, “Yes,” fully expecting to pay for it. But he told me to pick out the one I wanted, and he would not let me pay for it.

The value of the gift of the Cypress seedling by the shop owner was not In its monetary value, for the monetary value was small. The value was in the shop owner’s thoughtfulness, because that was priceless. I was so touched by the kindness shown me. It was such a simple thing, but profound in its meaning.

While it is important o notice the random acts of kindness shown us by others, it is important for us to intentionally show kindness to others. The shop owner’s random act of kindness brought to mind something I have been doing recently. I have been making individual chicken pot pies, (with homemade crust!) and gifting them to friends, in a somewhat random manner. There hasn’t really been a plan to give friends a chicken pot pie, but that is what I have been doing on a somewhat regular basis. I have never thought of this as an act of kindness, but I can see that it is. I do not say this to brag, but to share. The joy that my pot pies have brought to those who have received them makes the effort (and little bit of expense) more than worth it. This experience has shown me how much more the giver receives than the recipient.

I usually give three examples of my message. The two I mentioned came to me easily. The third one that comes to mind is an example of a random act, but not a random act of kindness. It is a random act of violence.

Mike and I have owned property on Oak Island, NC since the late 1990’s. Southport is the island’s mainland, and it is a fifteen minute drive from the island. We think of the entire area as our second home. Southport is the setting of author Nicholas Spark’s Safe Heaven. This quaint seaport town has long been a safe haven. After the random act of violence that happened on September 27, 2025, Southport may no longer be considered a safe haven.

On September 27, 2025 just before 9:30pm a forty-year-old resident of Oak Island pulled up to a Southport waterfront bar by boat and started shooting. Three people were killed and eight others were injured. To date, no motive has been determined. The shooter is a military veteran who has been determined to have mental health issues. Two of those who were killed were tourists and one was a resident who had retired to the area approximately one year ago. This shooting appears to have been a random act of violence as far as the shooting victims are concerned.

The subject of mental illness is beyond the scope of this blog post. The subject of the random act of violence it represents is well within the scope of this blog post. Specifically, how do we reconcile the difference in random acts of kindness and random acts of violence? What makes one person gift a seedling to a customer and another shoot innocent people? I have no idea. Any points I could make about this difference could trivialize the difference. While I admit that I do not know what accounts for the difference, I do know that as a society we need to figure out the difference. For we have too many killings and not nearly enough acts of kindness.

We all need to be committed to showing kindness to others, and search our hearts for ways to do so. Then we need to follow through. While our intentions are important, our actions are more important.

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Be Consistent, Determined, and Work For It!

Posted on October 2, 2025 by Patti Fralix

Mel Robbins is a phenomenal success. Her book, Let Them, and her podcasts are immensely popular. I have read her book, and found it to be one of the best self help/business books that I have read. I am definitely a fan of hers. Unlike many other popular gurus, she has meat on the bones, not just platitudes. If you haven’t read Let Them, by all means, do.

I was listening to Mel Robbins’ podcast, Let Them, on a recent walk. She quoted something Tom Brady said: “To have what we want, we must “Be Consistent, Determined, and Be Willing to Work for It.” I decided that thought is worthy of a blog post.

Being Consistent does not mean that we should be rigid. There is a difference in consistency and rigidity. Rigidity is more legalistic, whereas consistency allows for changes in our routine, yet those changes are not based on our whims. Consistency has at its foundation credibility, not necessarily rules and regulations. People who are consistent can be counted on to do what they say they are going to do, most of the time. Others can trust the word of the person whose behavior is (usually) consistent.

Being Determined means that we have a process and a plan to do what we say we are going to do. Similar to being consistent, the person who is determined can be trusted to do what they should do, or what they say they are going to do. I am determined to walk two miles every day that I can, and usually do so, although not as often when I am traveling. I do not walk in the rain, however. So, I am consistent and determined about my daily walk, although not rigid in that I walk everyday, regardless.

Being Willing to Work for Whatever we say Is Important to us is not as easy to describe as being Consistent and Determined. In fact, I could improve upon the words in this part of Tom Brady’s quote by changing it to “Work for Whatever we say is Important to us.” The obvious change is taking out the “Being Willing.” We could be “willing” and yet fail to execute. I prefer the language of “Work for Whatever we say is Important to us.”

“Working for whatever we say is important to us” involves doing the not so fun stuff of executing. To me, it includes knowing what it is that is important to us, and having a process for accomplishing our goals directed to those things. This must include clarity of our goals, staying focused on them routinely, and adjusting them as needed. This usually requires that they be in writing, since it is impossible to stay focused on those if they are only in our head.

What do you think? Are you focused on what you want to accomplish in the last quarter of the year? There are three months left until the end of 2025. Have you done what I suggested a few blog posts ago, setting one goal that you accomplish each week between now and the end of the year? Be honest with yourself.

It isn’t too late, yet, but it will be sooner than we think. These three months will pass so quickly, with several major holidays in addition to life’s other priorities. If you haven’t gotten started yet, please do. We are still in the first week of this last quarter, and there is still time.

Be Consistent, Determined, and Work for Whatever it is that is Important to You.

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A Few Ideas to Ponder

Posted on September 27, 2025 by Patti Fralix

I decided to minimize my words on this post, and highlight the words of others. I hope that you enjoy these thoughts.

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Customer Service Matters

Posted on September 19, 2025 by Patti Fralix

I am amazed at some shop staff and owners who do not provide an expected level of customer service. I am also amazed at those who do. I have been speaking, consulting, and coaching on Customer Service and related topics for more than thirty-three years. Customer Service is a favorite topic of mine. Too often lately, I have found that the basics of service are lacking. It is time for that to change.

What are the basics of service? They really are pretty simple. Simple does not seem to mean easy, however, although most of the basics of service should be easy. Some will say that we should treat others as we want to be treated, which is an example of the Golden Rule. I prefer the Platinum Rule, which is to treat others as they prefer to be treated.

First, and foremost, one of the most important aspects of service is friendliness. Greeting customers when they arrive, and making some appreciative comment when they leave, is important. While this is not always done, it should be. Making customers feel welcome and appreciated is a basic customer service principle.

A couple of days ago I went into a place of business I often frequent. It was ten minutes before closing. I told the person who greeted me that I knew they were closing soon, and I had come for one item, and would not cause them to close late. I could tell that she was relieved. That interaction was pleasant enough.

What bothered me about this visit was the owner who was present who should have recognized me who did not even speak to me. Whether she remembered me or not, and she should have, she should still have spoken. This was not the first time for this experience. Although I have overlooked this in the past, I decided that I will no longer give my business to this shop. I need to give my business to shops in which I and my business are appreciated.

This was a very different experience from one I had with a vendor I order from periodically for my antiques and gifts business. The minimum reorder amount had been increased and I questioned that. The vendor explained that the minimum reorder had been increased but that she will continue to offer me the lower minimum. While I did not expect that, I so appreciated it. Now, that is someone who values me and my business and deserves it!

Many people are struggling financially, and do not easily part with their money to make a purchase. When they do, at a minimum their experience should be a positive one.

Many businesses are struggling financially, and purchases made help a business stay in business. When store employees treat the customer with dignity and appreciation, the experience can be mutually beneficial.

Customer Service is not only about how the customer is treated. Quality is important. But customers will sometimes overlook quality concerns if they perceive they are treated well. Price is important, and more so to some customers due to their financial situation. There are other aspects of customer service. But how customers perceive they are treated is as important, and even more so, as any other customer service variable.

Too often the basics of service are lacking. I have decided that I will no longer do business with shops in which I do not feel valued as a customer.

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Part Two of My Car Experiences

Posted on September 11, 2025 by Patti Fralix

This story continues where last week’s blog ended.

Mike and I were in a completely dead loaner Honda on the side of the road near Williamsburg, Va. Our car expert, Josh, was determining how to solve this problem from his location in Creedmoor, NC.

Josh decided to send his tow truck to pick up the dead loaner Honda. He said it made sense for the tow truck to also bring our Honda to us. Amazingly so, the transmission replacement on our car had just been completed. Since we were ten minutes away from our destination in Williamsburg, he ordered a Lyft to pick us up, transfer our luggage, and transport us to our destination.

We were picked up by our Lyft less than thirty minutes later, and deposited at the Marriott at Ford’s Colony in Williamsburg, arriving there at approximately 6:30 pm. Josh ordered the tow truck to pick our Honda CR-V up at his facility in Creedmoor and bring it to us in Williamsburg, which was approximately a three hour drive. The tow truck arrived about 11:30 pm that evening. After bringing our vehicle to us, the tow truck driver then went to pick up the loaner car that we had left on the side of the road,

The next morning, which was Saturday, I texted Josh and verified that since it was the weekend, we would talk about my car on Monday. On Monday, I received an email with the final zero balance on the loaner car. In a conversation with John, Josh’s assistant, I was told that the only balance due on my car was the $100 warranty deductible. I was pleasantly surprised since I had been told previously that some of the costs might not be covered by the warranty. I can’t help but think that the amount of time Josh and John spent lobbying with the warranty company on my behalf is time that no one paid for. I was also suspicious that Josh covered some of the costs of the repair, and when I asked him about that, he replied “I feel really bad about all that happened.” Josh did what was best for me, the customer, and it is because of this kind of service that he will get my car repair business every time.

After all of this with my car and the loaner car, I was nervous about driving my car. I worried that it might not be fixed, although I trusted that it was. Still, I had uncomfortable feelings about driving. My fear felt like I imagined PTSD feels. I told a couple of friends that I thought I had PTSD from this! I do not mean any disrespect to anyone who truly has PSTD, but I imagine I had a minor dose of it.

I learned several important lessons from this experience.

Life can change on the dime, and when we least expect it. To be driving two different vehicles three days apart, both Hondas, which are supposed to be virtually trouble-free vehicles, and for the transmission to need to be replaced in one and the alternator in the other, is amazing. I have been driving for fifty-seven years and have had many different kinds of cars. I have never had a major problem with a car, car accidents aside. I have bought new cars and used cars, and have never had a major repair problem before now. I have never purchased an extended warranty before the 2021 Honda CR-V, nor have I needed one. But for some reason I purchased the extended warranty when I bought the 2021 Honda CR-V, so it was there when I needed it.
Since life is unpredictable, we need to prepare as best we can for the unknown, especially when it can be expensive. While that does not mean that we should always buy the extended warranty, when we have the thought that we might should, we need to act on that nudge.
We need to do business with those we trust, and who will have our best interests in mind. For me, that is Champs Performance in Creedmoor, NC.

As difficult as my car experiences have been, they pale in comparison to those affected by 9/11. Today marks the twenty-fourth anniversary of 9/11. May we never forget.

Also, the assassination of conservative leader Charlie Kirk this week and the loss his young family he left behind suffers, puts my problems in clear perspective.

I am grateful for my blessings.

Posted in best self, business, change, conflict, gratitude, hope, Leadership, life | Tagged business, cars, change, customer service, family, Fralix, life, Patti Fralix, relationships, The Fralix Group, travel, writing | Leave a comment

An Amazing Week

Posted on September 7, 2025 by Patti Fralix

In my last published blog, I discussed how we still have time to accomplish our goals in 2025. But that is only true if we set goals! I mentioned that if we set and accomplish just one goal a week, in the eighteen weeks remaining in 2025, we will be closer to being the person that we want to be. I committed to doing just that, setting and meeting just one new goal each week. Although this week is almost over, (and what a week it has been!) here goes!

My goal for this week is to publish my blog (itsinthesauce.com) weekly through the remainder of 2025. I have become complacent about posting a blog in the past few months, and want to change that. I published my first blog in January of 2015. I don’t know that I ever committed to posting weekly, but many months I did post weekly. In the past year my posting has become sporadic. Posting a blog has become a chore for me. The reason isn’t because I no longer like to write, and hopefully have my writing inspire others. I need to decide if posting a blog is still a part of my business plan, or not. If it is, it needs to be done consistently. If it isn’t, I need to let it go. Letting things go is difficult for me, but I need to make this decision, and follow through. These weeks between now and the end of the year will solidify my decision. I honestly do not know what my decision will be, but I am glad that I am making a decision about it..

This first week of September 2025 has presented me with significant challenges, all related to vehicles. Mike and I were at our daughter’s in Ga for Labor Day, and left there to come home on Tuesday. My 2021 Honda, which only has 77,000 miles on it, decided to need a transmission replaced that day! We did not know that until the noise got very loud en route. There were no warning signs at all, just a noise that was not specific enough for two people that we had check it along the way to diagnose. One of those two people was at the Honda dealership in Florence, SC, and he did say he thought it was the transmission. He suggested we drive on home and not get stuck in Florence for several days having that problem fixed!

All along the way, I was on the phone with my car expert, Josh, at Champs Performance Plus in Creedmoor, NC. He and I agreed that I would keep driving and get as far as I could. It was scary, but we made it to his car repair business, and left the Honda there for him to fix. He provided us a loaner car, which was a 2010 Honda Element with more than 148,000 miles on it.

Thankfully, when I bought my Honda I purchased an extended warranty. I do not usually buy extended warranties, but I did this time, and I am so glad that I did, for transmission replacement is covered by the warranty. But dealing with an extended warranty situation takes longer than it should to get the work approved and completed. But that was worth the wait.

Mike and I already had a week’s get-a-way planned to Williamsburg, Va. The Honda repair was not finished when we were to leave so Josh told us to take the loaner car for our trip. We packed the car Friday morning and headed to Williamsburg. All was well, until it wasn’t.

We had been driving almost three hours and were ten minutes from our destination when the loaner car just quit! Flashing lights came on and we lost all power. We were driving in the middle of a country road, with no businesses around, and not even a safe place to pull off the road. But we had to pull off the road, or we would have been sitting in the middle of the highway, stopped. So I pulled off the road.

What did I do next? I called Josh, of course.

Stay tuned. The rest of this story will be told in next week’s blog.

Posted in life | Tagged blog, business, change, customer service, family, Fralix, friends, life, Patti Fralix, relationships, The Fralix Group, travel, writing | 1 Comment

Goodbye to Summer

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Patti Fralix

It is hard to believe that summer has come and gone. Although summer technically ends on September 22nd, Labor Day marks the unofficial end to summer. Where did it go? I know it is because of my age that time seems to fly by, but it seems to do so much faster each season. Now we need to soon prepare for Christmas, with several other holidays in-between. It wears me out to even think of it.

How is 2025 going for you? Is this year what you planned for it to be back in January? If not, there is still time, although not much. If there are personal and/or professional goals that you want to achieve, you still have time. But only if you focus, and get started. This message is for me as much as for you. Per usual, I write what I need to live. Time passes, and more quickly as the years go by. How we choose to spend our time matters.

Let’s think analytically about this. Beginning tomorrow, we have eighteen weeks left in this year. We can make a decision about one goal we will meet each week in what remains of this year. If we are productive, we can accomplish so much. Those eighteen weeks will pass whether or not we accomplish our goals. Do we want to look back on these weeks and regret that we wasted our time? Or, do we want to be proud that we accomplished goals that move us forward, that help us be the person we want to be?

I am making a commitment to myself to do what I just suggested. Beginning September 1, I will set one goal each week for the remainder of the year.. And since it is not enough to just set the goals, I will also do my very best to accomplish each goal. Will this be easy with everything else going on during this busy time of the year? No, of course not, But is it doable? Yes, of course.

How about you? Will you join me? Will you focus on yourself as much as you focus on everything and everyone else? Will you make yourself a priority?

I would love to hear from you about your commitment to yourself. But as much as I would love to hear from you about this, it isn’t really important that you tell me what you decide to do. But it is very important that you tell yourself.

I wish you well on your journey.

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Givers, Takers, and In-Betweens

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Patti Fralix

Do you consider yourself a giver, one who is thoughtful? Or do you even think about this at all? Perhaps you know that you are not as thoughtful as you could be. It is hard to admit, even to ourselves, that we should be more giving, reaching out to others in helpful ways. In fact, we may not focus on others at all, being more self absorbed.

Or are we a taker, expecting others to give to us, but not showing concern for the needs of others? While it is hard to admit this ourselves, we should be able to admit it to ourselves. It is not possible to change what we refuse to admit, and if we know we are a taker, we should want to change this. Life is hard enough when we are considerate of the needs of others. If we are more of a taker than a giver, our relationships suffer.

Perhaps we do not think of ourselves as a taker, yet know that we are not really a giver. We may be in the in-between category of giving and taking. If it is convenient for us, we give, yet we really do not focus on doing for others. If we really admit to ourselves our weaknesses, we know that we only give when it is convenient for us to do so, not really focused on others’ needs.

By the way, if we only give to others when they ask, are we really a giver? While it is good to give to another when they ask for something they need, that is not as “giving” oriented as being aware of the needs of others and offering what we can to help.

The reason for this post is because I have several recent examples of giving. These are examples of people who had no reason to give to me, but did so anyway. While I will not identify these people, I want to recognize their giving spirit.

I recently purchased an item from the antiques and gifts shop in Southport, where I have been a vendor for many years. The item is a gift for someone else, and it was a decent price, even before the owner of the item gave me a $10 discount. The next time I saw the vendor, she asked if I had purchased the item, and I told her that I had. She reached into her pocket and brought out $10 and gave it to me. She said, “I want to give you a better discount than I gave you.” Now, that is a giving spirit. She had nothing to gain from giving me a bigger discount, yet she thought she should, so she did.

Another example. A friend knew of a need that I had, and not because I asked for her help, for I would not have thought to do so. But she knew, and offered to help. I did not ask for her help, she offered. This is a true giving spirit, to offer help. While it is good to give when asked, it is better to be aware of the needs of another, and to offer assistance.

A third example is someone who gives me many items to sell in my antiques and gifts business, and does not want any compensation from the sale of those items. She gives because she likes to give, not to benefit monetarily in any way. She doesn’t even expect me to pick the items up. She spends her time and effort to bring me those items.

We can give in many ways. While some needs are financial, there are ways we can give to others that do not involve money at all. We can give of our time. We can give of our knowledge. We can give of our heart. We can be a listening ear to someone who just needs companionship.

We can be thoughtful in the gifts that we give to others, choosing gifts that will be meaningful to them. While it is certainly true that gifts are some people’s love language, that is not true for all. To some, having to select gifts for others is a burdensome task. Even so, it is important for us all to be mindful of the likes of others, and select gifts that others will enjoy.

The best gifts of all come from our heart, a heart that is focused on others more than ourselves. One of my best examples of a gift from the heart is this note my then eleven-year-old granddaughter Virginia wrote and the blanket she designed and created for me Christmas 2022.