“Help Me” Means Do It My Way!

IMG_1271 (1)A friend and I were talking recently about different things, including how ready we are, or aren’t, for the Christmas holiday. We commiserated about the fact that with only a week to go, both of us are still finishing decorating! One of our challenges is receiving and accepting help from others. While in the past we were more than able to do what we needed to do ourselves, for different reasons, this year we need help from others. When we receive the help, it isn’t always to our liking! In essence, sometimes the other person wants to do things their way, instead of just doing what we ask them to do. My friend made a profound comment about this. She said, “Help me means do it my way!” This was great insight to me; I had not connected that before. But her words rang so true.


This reminds me of the Platinum Rule compared to the Golden Rule. While the Golden Rule, “Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You” is a great standard for some things, it may not work when the “others” are different from us. That is when the Platinum Rule, “Treat Others the Way They Want to be Treated” (credit to Dr. Tony Alessandra) should be considered. The Platinum Rule takes into account the feelings and desires of others and helps us to model our behavior consistent with that. The Platinum Rule can help others help us the way we want to be helped!


A lovely woman, Darla, at Academy Street Bistro in Cary, gave us these cards. She said she makes cards all year and passes them out to others. What a treat!

This is not intended to disparage the true meaning of The Golden Rule. It is intended to help us reach more understanding with others who are different from us.


While he is not the reason for the Season, many of us enjoy his presence in our festivities.

Back to the issue of helping others. This time of the year, as wonderful as it is, can also be filled with unmet expectations. Many of us are so busy, so rushed, and so impatient, that we can create misunderstandings simply because we are behaving from our mindset, failing to consider the mindset of others. While we should accept help willingly and not react when it is offered differently than we want it, we can also do our individual best to offer help in the manner it is desired.


Our White House ornament collection

Now, back to finishing the decorating, wrapping presents, and preparing for the holiday before the family arrives!


We wish you a Merry Christmas!

May the next few days be peaceful and joyful for you and yours!

Patti name

About Patti Fralix

Patti Fralix inspires positive change in work, life, and family through Speaking, Consulting, and Coaching in three specialty areas: Leadership, Managing Differences, and Customer Service. Her leadership firm, The Fralix Group, Inc., has been helping clients achieve practical and tangible results for twenty-two years.
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