It has been five weeks since we moved, and I am still cleaning out. I remain amazed at all of the stuff we have accumulated over the years. While moving from a 4800 square foot house to one that is slightly less than 2000 square feet presents some challenges, those are less about the size differences of the houses than the amount of stuff that we have. I am determined to live with less stuff and am chipping away at the problem. It is hard, but I know it is for the best.

We sold about half of our furniture, and yet still have tables, lamps, and other items that have to be stored because there is nowhere to put them. I am torn about what of these to keep, wondering if we will have space for them in the future. One part of me wants to just get rid of the excess items, and not worry about the future. The thought of moving again anytime soon sends me into a panic. Another part of me wants to keep all of my stuff since I have loved all of it. If it is damaged, I am well able to get rid of it. If not, I want to hold onto it.

Part of my dilemma with letting go or holding on relates to being in a temporary situation. Not knowing where we wanted to go next, Mike and I rented a house for a year, to give us time to make a well-thought-out decision. So, we are in limbo. While I am trying to not focus on that too much, and live in the present, it is difficult. There are some things I want to do in our present home, yet knowing that it is a rental that we may only be in for a year makes me not want to make too many improvements to it. On the other hand, my space is important to me, and I need to make it my own, even if it is only for a year. So I am going slowly with the changes, and being careful to not spend money unnecessarily on things I can’t take with me.

My greatest dilemma is the windows. They are all bare except for the blinds. I have some gorgeous window treatments that I kept, and I am going to see if they can be remade to use in our current home. I am not happy with bare windows. If the ones I have can’t be remade, I will need to do something else. I can’t be content with bare windows for a year. Even though we know how fast a year can pass.

Then there are the bed linens, including sheets, blankets, and pillows. I have gotten rid of all full-size beds, so letting go of those linens was not difficult. But the decorative pillows, now that have been a challenge. They were custom, matched the window treatments, and meet my need for beauty. But the bedrooms are small, the closets even smaller, and there is no place to keep all of this stuff. I have talked to myself long and hard about letting go, even thinking about buying new if we ever need more. But it is still hard.

But I am working through it, and almost all of my decisions have been made. It is time to enjoy less, and make this home our forever home, whether it will be or not.

I want to live in the present, remembering the past but not holding onto it. And accepting that the future is unknown. All we have is the present, and I am ready to live as if it is all I will ever know.

And speaking of the present, Happy 16^th birthday to granddaughter Elsie!