Don’t let them go to their grave, or you to yours, without forgiveness. If reconciliation is possible, strive for reconciliation. But if reconciliation is not possible, and/or if it is too late for that, forgive. Forgiveness is always possible, even if you are the only one in the dynamic aware of your forgiveness. And you know what is said about forgiveness. Forgiveness is for us, not for the other person. Oh, of course, the other person deserves forgiveness. Yes, believe it, they do. But the one who benefits the most is the one who forgives.

I will always remember one of my last conversations with my mother. She was in the hospital, very ill. We had a troubled relationship for many years. My mother was an alcoholic and did some things a parent, or anyone for that matter, should never do. I had long since forgiven her for how she mistreated me, but she was not able to forgive herself. On that day I remember her saying, “I wish I had been a better mother, that I had not done the things I did to you.” I replied, “Mother, I forgave that many years ago.” She replied, “I wish I could forgive myself.” I don’t think she ever did forgive herself, which still grieves me to this day. There are also some things that I did not do for my mother when she needed my help, that I will always regret. It is too late to repair that, but it is not too late for me to forgive myself. So, I have forgiven myself, and strive to be a better person in all of my relationships.

At this season of Christmas, we should think about the gift of our relationships, and do our best to make them all healthy and loving, while there is still time. This is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves, and to others.

Is there someone you need to forgive, including yourself? As long as there is breath, there is time.