As I think about my people, I divide them into three categories: Family, Friends, and Others. I have long since learned that it is hard to maintain relationships at all, much less relationships in which there is no logical connection or reason to do so. Relationships require work, and it is often a zero sum game. But life is richer when we have good relationships. There is even recent research that proves that having healthy relationships has a direct connection to our longevity. Since healthy relationships are important, even life sustaining, it behooves us to do our best to make relationships a priority.

Our family relationships should be a priority. I have a broad definition of family, including friends who are chosen family, and who, in some cases, are closer to us than our biological family. And while it is difficult to maintain relationships at all, it is quite alright (to me!) to not even attempt to stay connected to family members who are so removed from our lives that trying to stay connected to them seems unnecessary. Also, if certain family members are a negative influence on us, it is alright to keep those at a distance. But life without good family relationships can be very lonely, and it is our family with whom we have the longest history. We should all do our best to have loving family relationships with those in our family with whom we are emotionally most connected.

Friends can be a lifeblood for us. It is our closest friends who keep us connected to ourselves. It is our friends who understand us, who support us, and who should be there for us when we most need them. It has been said that some of our friends are for a season, some for a reason, and some for a lifetime. As we age and our lives change, our friends often change. While it is sometimes hard to do so, we need to be able to let go of some of our friends (those who were there for a season or a reason) to make room for others. If we try to hold on long past the time we need to let go, we find that our friend relationships go stale and we are left trying to hold on to what has already passed. However, we will maintain some friend relationships for a lifetime, and while those will be few, they will be such a part of our history and present that we and they cannot let go.

The third category of relationships, the “Others” category, includes business connections, neighbors, and casual relationships from different parts of our lives. While these relationships involve a commitment to stay connected, the connection is not as deep as that of our connection with our family and friends. These relationships are more episodic in nature, and our connections with these others ebb and flow. When there is no longer a reason to stay connected, these relationships die a natural death.

Do an inventory of your relationships. How is it with your family, those members of your family to whom you want to stay connected? Do you feel supported by your family? Do you enjoy time spent with members of your family?

How is it with your friends? Do you have good, supportive friend relationships? Are you and they making the effort to stay connected? Do you find ways to get together routinely? Relationships require time and commitment.

As for your neighborhood, does it have a sense of community? Have you heard of Doug’s viral winter party? Doug, an 87 year-old, hosted a birthday party and delivered a hand written invitation to his neighbors. One of his young neighbors was so touched that she posted the invitation online. The response from around the world has proven that people want connection. Doug’s neighbor said she had been wanting a sense of community, and Doug provided it. How are you providing a sense of community?

Relationships matter. Good relationships keep us connected not just to others, but to ourselves. Do you have healthy and supportive relationships? If not, are you willing to do all that you can to change that? Make 2025 the year that you make good relationships a priority.