Do you consider yourself a giver, one who is thoughtful? Or do you even think about this at all? Perhaps you know that you are not as thoughtful as you could be. It is hard to admit, even to ourselves, that we should be more giving, reaching out to others in helpful ways. In fact, we may not focus on others at all, being more self absorbed.

Or are we a taker, expecting others to give to us, but not showing concern for the needs of others? While it is hard to admit this ourselves, we should be able to admit it to ourselves. It is not possible to change what we refuse to admit, and if we know we are a taker, we should want to change this. Life is hard enough when we are considerate of the needs of others. If we are more of a taker than a giver, our relationships suffer.

Perhaps we do not think of ourselves as a taker, yet know that we are not really a giver. We may be in the in-between category of giving and taking. If it is convenient for us, we give, yet we really do not focus on doing for others. If we really admit to ourselves our weaknesses, we know that we only give when it is convenient for us to do so, not really focused on others’ needs.

By the way, if we only give to others when they ask, are we really a giver? While it is good to give to another when they ask for something they need, that is not as “giving” oriented as being aware of the needs of others and offering what we can to help.

The reason for this post is because I have several recent examples of giving. These are examples of people who had no reason to give to me, but did so anyway. While I will not identify these people, I want to recognize their giving spirit.

I recently purchased an item from the antiques and gifts shop in Southport, where I have been a vendor for many years. The item is a gift for someone else, and it was a decent price, even before the owner of the item gave me a $10 discount. The next time I saw the vendor, she asked if I had purchased the item, and I told her that I had. She reached into her pocket and brought out $10 and gave it to me. She said, “I want to give you a better discount than I gave you.” Now, that is a giving spirit. She had nothing to gain from giving me a bigger discount, yet she thought she should, so she did.

Another example. A friend knew of a need that I had, and not because I asked for her help, for I would not have thought to do so. But she knew, and offered to help. I did not ask for her help, she offered. This is a true giving spirit, to offer help. While it is good to give when asked, it is better to be aware of the needs of another, and to offer assistance.

A third example is someone who gives me many items to sell in my antiques and gifts business, and does not want any compensation from the sale of those items. She gives because she likes to give, not to benefit monetarily in any way. She doesn’t even expect me to pick the items up. She spends her time and effort to bring me those items.

We can give in many ways. While some needs are financial, there are ways we can give to others that do not involve money at all. We can give of our time. We can give of our knowledge. We can give of our heart. We can be a listening ear to someone who just needs companionship.

We can be thoughtful in the gifts that we give to others, choosing gifts that will be meaningful to them. While it is certainly true that gifts are some people’s love language, that is not true for all. To some, having to select gifts for others is a burdensome task. Even so, it is important for us all to be mindful of the likes of others, and select gifts that others will enjoy.

The best gifts of all come from our heart, a heart that is focused on others more than ourselves. One of my best examples of a gift from the heart is this note my then eleven-year-old granddaughter Virginia wrote and the blanket she designed and created for me Christmas 2022.

We should all be as kind and generous as Virginia. The world needs us to be.