We have all heard of “Random Acts of Kindness.” There are many examples of “Random Acts of Kindness.” It seems that life is getting more difficult in many ways. When others offer us kindness, we are able to rise above our problems and see the good in the world and in others. Without necessarily even meaning to do so, we begin to pay it forward.

I was the recipient of a random act of kindness a couple of days ago. I was shopping in a store, and noticed a small seedling that was potted, and I thought it was a Norfolk Pine. I asked the shop owner if it was a Norfolk Pine, and he said, “No, it is a Cypress.” He then asked, “Would you like one?” I said, “Yes,” fully expecting to pay for it. But he told me to pick out the one I wanted, and he would not let me pay for it.

The value of the gift of the Cypress seedling by the shop owner was not In its monetary value, for the monetary value was small. The value was in the shop owner’s thoughtfulness, because that was priceless. I was so touched by the kindness shown me. It was such a simple thing, but profound in its meaning.

While it is important o notice the random acts of kindness shown us by others, it is important for us to intentionally show kindness to others. The shop owner’s random act of kindness brought to mind something I have been doing recently. I have been making individual chicken pot pies, (with homemade crust!) and gifting them to friends, in a somewhat random manner. There hasn’t really been a plan to give friends a chicken pot pie, but that is what I have been doing on a somewhat regular basis. I have never thought of this as an act of kindness, but I can see that it is. I do not say this to brag, but to share. The joy that my pot pies have brought to those who have received them makes the effort (and little bit of expense) more than worth it. This experience has shown me how much more the giver receives than the recipient.

I usually give three examples of my message. The two I mentioned came to me easily. The third one that comes to mind is an example of a random act, but not a random act of kindness. It is a random act of violence.

Mike and I have owned property on Oak Island, NC since the late 1990’s. Southport is the island’s mainland, and it is a fifteen minute drive from the island. We think of the entire area as our second home. Southport is the setting of author Nicholas Spark’s Safe Heaven. This quaint seaport town has long been a safe haven. After the random act of violence that happened on September 27, 2025, Southport may no longer be considered a safe haven.

On September 27, 2025 just before 9:30pm a forty-year-old resident of Oak Island pulled up to a Southport waterfront bar by boat and started shooting. Three people were killed and eight others were injured. To date, no motive has been determined. The shooter is a military veteran who has been determined to have mental health issues. Two of those who were killed were tourists and one was a resident who had retired to the area approximately one year ago. This shooting appears to have been a random act of violence as far as the shooting victims are concerned.

The subject of mental illness is beyond the scope of this blog post. The subject of the random act of violence it represents is well within the scope of this blog post. Specifically, how do we reconcile the difference in random acts of kindness and random acts of violence? What makes one person gift a seedling to a customer and another shoot innocent people? I have no idea. Any points I could make about this difference could trivialize the difference. While I admit that I do not know what accounts for the difference, I do know that as a society we need to figure out the difference. For we have too many killings and not nearly enough acts of kindness.

We all need to be committed to showing kindness to others, and search our hearts for ways to do so. Then we need to follow through. While our intentions are important, our actions are more important.