I went back to WW today, the first time since October of 2017. I have been paying monthly yet not going during that time. I have avoided the WW scale, although I get on my scale at home every day and watch it fluctuate a pound or two most days, weeks, and months. I have been kidding myself into thinking that I was counting points and calories, yet not changing some of the habits that have been in my way. A good friend of mine was my inspiration for these changes. Thank you, MoMo.
I finally faced myself head on and made a major change. And I am not talking about the change of going back to WW. Going back to WW was the result of the other Change, (which I am calling “The Big C,”) a change I am not ready to talk about yet with most people. I will be transparent about The Big C that is driving other changes once I hit ninety days with no backsliding. I am on day ten. Stay tuned.
When I wrote my latest book, Changing Me From the Inside Out: My Hurricane Irma Experience on St. Maarten and Other Life Changing Events (available on Amazon,) I did not know the depths of the changes that I would make. I just knew that who and where I was is not who and where I want to be. I was not happy with my identity. I had to live Gandhi’s mantra, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” My “world” desire is that we are all happy with who we are, regardless of weight, size, or anything external. If our identity gives us confidence, we can be who we were created to be. When there is synchronicity between what we say we believe and what we do, we are authentic.
I have found some resources that are helping me on my journey. I have recently discovered Audible. Well, that is not totally true. I have been paying for Audible for months, maybe over a year, and only last week started using it! For the past few days, I have been travelling and listening to some great audiobooks. One is Atomic Habits by James Clear. I do not agree with everything Clear says, such as how he somewhat discounts goals, focusing instead on process. I am a firm believer in goals, which are results focused. I also believe in process. I am able to take what I do believe from this author’s work, such as Identity, and not worry about the parts I do not agree with.
I am also listening to Brené Brown’s I Thought it Was Just Me. I love Brené Brown’s work (although I do not like her occasional profanity!) and thought I had read all of her books, but I had missed this one. It is powerful.
My focus with WW this time is health, not weight loss, unlike in 2002 when I wanted to lose weight for daughter Tara’s wedding. I did lose the weight in 2002, and even made WW Lifetime. But the weight came back over time because I did not stick with the system when the stimulus for the change, the wedding, had passed. Although I do want to lose fifteen pounds this time, and I will, my stimulus is not external, like a wedding. It is internal; identity. It is also health.
I knew that I needed to make some changes, yet I resisted. Now, I am all in. I will be back in touch with the details in eighty days, which if I am counting accurately, is August 4, 2019. Put the date on your calendar and hold me accountable.
Thank you for caring.