What Part Of ME Do You Not Understand?

The philosophy of It’s in the SAUCE® is that we are more effective through our interconnectedness with others.  This is true both personally and professionally.  It is when our strengths combine with the strengths of others that the best results occur. We all have strengths, and yes, it is also true that we all have weaknesses.  We need to be able to depend on others for those things that we lack, not in a dependent way, but in an interdependent way. This is true in families and with teams at work.

I was reminded of one of these differences early this morning as I was leaving for the airport and realized that I could not find my driver’s license which I would need for check-in.  My husband said, “Why don’t you put it the same place every time so you can find it?!”  The reason I don’t is because that is not my personality.  Now, that is not an excuse; just a reason.  And it also happens with car keys.  Some of you know exactly what I mean, because you struggle with this also.  I have learned that this behavior creates unnecessary stress and delays, so many times I do return keys and cards to the same location.  But when I am in a hurry, I put those items in different places, and struggle later to remember where.  My husband is so consistent and methodical that he has one particular place for keys and cards, and in a hurry or not, he can find them quickly, for they are put in the same place every time.  Now this inconsistency of mine is not a character flaw.  It is a difference due to my personality.  Misplaced car keys and other items create unnecessary stress for us, and can create delays and stress for others if they are travelling with us.  But these personality differences, although they can be annoying, aren’t as problematic as some behaviors in the workplace created by personality differences.

Inconsistencies in behaviors (that need to be consistent) can create confusion and stress for others, and often result in significant productivity problems.  One example of this is when a manager is asked something more than once, and gives a different answer each time, or an answer that the other person hears as different because it isn’t worded the same way.  This confusion can also occur when the answer that is given is different because the focus of the answer is different.  The fact that there is a difference may not even be obvious to either person involved, and yet ineffective communication, and other resultant problems, often occurs.  When these situations happen, the personalities of the people involved determine to a large degree whether there is confusion and whether that confusion is expressed or unexpressed.   The manager who it is perceived as giving inconsistent information or direction needs to know that, and clarity can often be achieved by discussing such.  Unfortunately these discussions too often don’t occur, in part due to the reluctance or difficulty of “speaking truth to power.”

Clear communication of information that others need to know is one of a manager’s most important accountabilities.  Too often when communication isn’t clear that fact is not expressed, and people interpret what they need to do from their own lens.   The best solution for ineffective communication is understanding and valuing personality differences, and communicating not from one’s own natural style, but in a manner that the other person will hear best.  This is much harder to do than might appear on the surface.  Next week’s post will discuss this in more detail.

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The Synergy of Relationships

The philosophy of It’s in the SAUCE® includes that the magic is in our relationships, the combination of our differences and strengths that create powerful synergy.  This is true personally as well as professionally.  Many people had a great example of this on a personal level recently when thinking of and celebrating Valentine’s Day; I know that I did.  Some think Valentine’s Day (and some other celebratory days as well!) are perpetuated by Hallmark for the sole purpose of driving sales.  But if that is even true, is there anything wrong with a day set aside to celebrate love?  My husband is my best friend, and he and I have a symbiosis that results in our combination creating synergy that is impossible on an individual, level.  We have been married for almost 31 years, and the love I feel for him is stronger now than it was in the early years.  I am very grateful for our relationship, and do not take it for granted.

It should be noted that not everyone has nor does everyone even want a romantic relationship.  Friends and family can be all that one needs to feel connected emotionally to others.  Celebrating this closeness is not just good for the heart but for health in general.  Research is clear on this.  People who have healthy relationships are healthier in general, are happier, and have better morbidity and mortality statistics.

Another example of the magic of relationships is the recent 40 year anniversary celebration of Saturday Night Live.  Now, I must admit, I have watched very few SNLs through the years, but it was difficult to   miss the 40th celebration, if you were watching anything at all on NBC around this time.  So I tuned in for the 40th, and was very impressed with the synergy of those relationships.  Although much credit for SNL’s success was (and rightly so) given to its creator, Lorne Michaels, there is no way that he could have had such a successful run had it not been for the team of actors and technical people who surrounded him.   This reinforces the importance of professional relationships and the direct connection to business success.  It is rare for an individual to be successful without the involvement and support of others.

One meaning of It’s in the SAUCE® is: just like the best sauces are a combination of flavors, not one flavor or ingredient, the best teams are a combination of differences, not people who are alike.  If the members of a team are too much alike, the efforts of their work can too often be “group think.”  “Group think” behavior, while it may feel good for individuals to have their own opinions validated by other team members, is not very effective.  Group think teams cannot make the best and most comprehensive decisions.  This is even truer given greater diversity.  For teams to work well together, however, requires that the individuals understand and even value their differences.  Personality tools like It’s in the SAUCE® are a great resource for teams committed to maximizing their effectiveness.

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The Dance of Staff Empowerment and Management Control

Another excellent staff member gone.  Another controlling manager cranked down too hard one too many times, and the staff member decided to quit.  What will it take for managers in organizations to realize the true cost of the loss of human capital, and decide to listen more, and realize that staff have valid concerns?  How many people have to quit before managers learn?

I have been in management positions and/or supported managers for almost thirty-five years.  I have worked with many staff groups, helping them to change what they need to change, and helping them understand the organization’s position.  I have spent a lot of time teaching and coaching managers how to lead and not control.  But not enough progress is being made.  Too many good to great staff members (and also managers) give up while insecure and controlling managers continue to control, and drive out those who take the risk to complain about what isn’t working.

I sometimes think it is too late.  Too late to convince either through coaching or development of managers that staff who complain, even when they are aggressive about how they do it, have valid concerns.  I fear that it is too late for enough managers to become leaders.

There are many examples. There is the Nurse Practitioner who patients love, who works many more hours than she is paid to work, whose position is changed, changed so she is no longer fulltime, with no good explanation for the change.  There is the staff nurse whose schedule was changed and she wasn’t aware of the change, and who was summarily told it was her responsibility to know her schedule, although she has worked the same schedule for years.  There is the staff member who chose to quit quietly without being open about the reasons, although she has worked in the department for many years.  There is the manager who is allowed to continue to crush the spirit of the staff, although the negative satisfaction scores of the customers is directly linked to when the manager was hired.

My passion is to help leaders in organizations do what they should do best; lead, not control.  I no longer want to explain, justify and support managers who crush the spirit of good, competent staff.    I resist thinking that what I have believed in for almost thirty-five years can’t work.  While I still believe in management and staff empowerment, I am so troubled by the continual problems.

Is my vision a fairy tale?  Is it possible to have an organization fulfill its mission, and be a place where staff is empowered to serve customers and who feel served as well by the organization and its leaders?

I still want to think so.

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Relationships Drive Results

Relationships can be tricky; they can drive positive results, or negative results.  The magic is, we get to choose.  If you are like me, and did not pay enough attention to the importance of good and positive relationships early enough, you know that we wasted a lot of time.  We spent too much time trying to be right, failing to recognize that others could make us wrong. We spent too much time on building our business, and not enough time on building relationships.

Thankfully, it isn’t too late.  It isn’t too late to connect with the others that we really care about, professionally and personally. For if we don’t really care about them, they know it, and anything we do to indicate otherwise is wasted time.  And time is too precious to be wasted.

I am reminded of the fact that most of my business these twenty-two years has been built upon the power of referrals.  That is such a powerful message when I slow down enough to think about it, which isn’t often enough.

There are some heroes/mentors that have helped me to understand at the deepest level the power of relationships.  Jim Cathcart and Bill Brooks, who gave this young professional speaker a chance to get immersed in the business, are two of those.  I am so grateful, and still feel a sense of awe when I see Jim at meetings and he greets me by name, and I grieve that Bill is no longer with us, but his legacy is forever with me.  I can only hope that I have a similar impact on others.

One of my very best friends (for almost 45 years) was Bryan Townsend, who loved me and mentored me in so many ways.  He died much too soon a couple of years ago, but not before modeling a life of  humility and graciousness, more important qualities than all of his good other qualities, and he had many.

As I think of my business, I have several examples of how relationships have driven results.  I have had the privilege of “going deep” within companies, where CEOs have “released” me to work with their staff in profound ways, not feeling the need to control what I did.  Dana Jennings, Render Dahiya, Eric Vaughn and Penny Washington come immediately to mind.  I want to publically thank them and their staff for the trust they placed in me.  They model the best of Empowerment.

And then there is the importance of personal relationships.  With the New Year upon us, how is it with our family? For the importance of whatever platform we speak on pales in comparison to the importance of the platform we live on.  Does our family know that we love and value them?  How are we doing in that area?

Welcome to the musings of this Leadership speaker/consultant.  I promise to comfort the disturbed, and disturb the comforted. (Credit to Elizabeth Jeffries, who voiced this the first time I heard it.)  I welcome you to do the same.

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It’s in the SAUCE!®

Welcome back to the Blog!  After a too long hiatus, I have become convinced that social media is necessary to spread one’s message to those that may need it, and want to hear it.  So I have resurrected the Blog, and renamed it “It’s in the SAUCE!®.” I welcome your feedback as I (again) put my feet in this Blog pool somewhat timidly.

“It’s in the SAUCE!®” is the name of a trademark I own, and the name of a 20 question personality tool that I developed many years ago.  The questionnaire has been used in many venues, including in an international meeting of scientists from a major pharmaceutical company, focused on Leadership, to individual coaching sessions, and many venues in between.

“It’s in the SAUCE!®” also expresses one of my dominant philosophies.  Just like the best sauces are a combination of flavors, not one flavor; the best teams are a combination of differences, not people who are all alike.  This is an important philosophy in Team Building.

“It’s in the SAUCE!®” has other meanings as well.  It speaks to the philosophy of the Trinity, used here in various ways.  One application of this is the Trinity of Passion, Productivity, and Profit, with the philosophy that it is the integration of Passion and Productivity that best results in profitability and prosperity.  It also speaks to the three types of work; Market work (work for pay,) Family Work (hopefully needing no explanation,) and Volunteer Work (civic, church or other types of volunteer work.)

I welcome you to take the “It’s in the SAUCE!®” journey with me, as we discuss, debate and deliver what are hopefully powerful messages to a larger audience, an audience that can change the world for the better for all of us.  Thank you for beginning the journey with me.

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