Seek First to Understand

These are challenging times. We have been quarantined away from our loved ones for two or more months, have had nowhere to go but perhaps the grocery stores, and many are suffering severe economic hardship. While some people have shown the best of themselves, others have lost whatever patience they had. One only has to visit briefly on social media to see and feel the depths of anger some are carrying. There has never been a time that we have been more in need of grace and understanding.

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My Twelve Personal Insights from Staying-at-Home

  1. I have too much stuff, much too much stuff, and multiples of much of it. This includes furniture, books, make-up, clothes, kitchen items, etc. While I probably already knew this, staying at home with all of my stuff for weeks reinforced this undeniable fact.

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A wonderful resource.

2.  I use the same stuff, wear the same clothes, etc. regardless of the excess that I have.

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One of the outfits I wear quite often. And no, Mike and I do not usually dress alike!

3.  It is very difficult for me to part with stuff. Too often I just move it around.IMG_7066 (1)

4.  Even with plenty of time, I did not do the things I didn’t want to do, such as cleaning.

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I have wasted money and time.

5.  During these more than two months, Mike and I lived in only a few of the rooms in our home. The rooms we used are the family room, kitchen, master bedroom, bathroom, and laundry/exercise room. The other ten rooms were vacant most of this time.

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During our stay-at-home, many hours were spent in our kitchen.

6.  I do not need foundation, eye make-up, or most of my jewelry. I did not wear eye make-up (other than a brow pencil!) or foundation at all during this time, even when I dressed and went to the grocery store. I wore the same earrings, necklace, and bracelet almost every day.

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It is time for me to read my book again!

7.  Committing to daily exercise is easier than planning to exercise a certain number of days per week. I have walked two miles every day but one (when it rained!) since March 20.

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Social distancing while walking on the beach.

8.  I need time to sit, reflect, and just be. I have enjoyed having time to do so.IMG_1762 (2)

9.  I do best with routine.

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Much of my mornings were routine, sitting in the wing chair by the fireplace with my coffee, watching the Today Show.

10.  I cope best with stress by staying active, so I did not read or write much during this.

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It is time to write the next book about Changing Me From The Inside Out.

11. I love our home in Raleigh. Staying-at-home there made me want more time there.

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Our home in Raleigh at Christmas, which seems like years ago!

12. Time passes so quickly, even when it is standing still.

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Mike and me and our precious grandchildren, before COVID-19.

Now, what will I do with this insight? Will it change my behavior in any meaningful way?

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Take Lots of Photos

IMG_1239 (3)Certainly, take photos of food and flowers. Even if you never do anything with them, unless for some reason you need them. Those are a record of memories of times you have enjoyed. But if you don’t have those photos, you won’t really miss them. Not so about photos of people. If you do not have recent photos of people you love, you may wish that you did. You may miss not having those. Continue reading

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Committed

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In my happy place with my AGA!

The Coronavirus has done what nothing else has been able to do.  It has kept me away from my grandchildren. April 2020 is the first month that I have missed seeing my grandchildren in more than fifteen years. While the reason for this is out of my control, that does not make it any easier. The oldest grandchildren are granddaughters who are fifteen, thirteen, and seven, who lives in Georgia, and they are used to my monthly visits. Our youngest is grandson Drew who lives in Raleigh. Continue reading

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Time Stands Still

Stephen & Brother

Robby (Left) and Stephen (Right)

The Coronavirus and Covid-19 have disrupted our lives immensely for about six weeks. You are most likely tired of talking about it and reading about it. Regardless of when or where it actually started, for most of us, it came out of nowhere. It locked us in our homes, closed many of our businesses, and left many without a paycheck and some getting their food for the first time ever from food banks. We still do not know when to expect the worst of this to end. But we know it will end. Most of us will return to normal, although many are thinking it will be a new normal. But nonetheless, this is not permanent. Unlike death. Continue reading

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Still Staying-in-Place

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There is beauty all around!

It has been more than a month since most of us were ordered to stay-in-place. Almost all states have this order in effect until the end of April, although a few states are beginning to reopen. Even in those states, things will not return to “normal” for who knows how long. Restaurants and bars are the businesses most in danger of staying shuttered-in-place for the foreseeable future.  Some of those will not reopen, unable to withstand the loss of income. Our economy has been damaged beyond our imagination. In all of those businesses are people who are now trying to live on unemployment, or worse. We have become well aware of just how vulnerable we all are. Continue reading

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The Lessons of this Time

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Our azaleas bringing a breath of Spring.

Covid-19 has changed our lives. Some of the changes have been difficult. Even so, there are lessons learned that would not have been learned any other way. Some of the changes provided us some positive benefits that we also would not have had any other way. The challenge will be to hold onto (at least the memory of) both when we are able to return to (our new) normal. Continue reading

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You Don’t Know What You’ve Got ‘Till It’s Gone

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A Covid-19 Care Package from our family in Georgia, including the sweetest handwritten notes from our three granddaughters!

Joni Mitchell’s words were made for this time. There is so much about our normal lives that is gone since Covid-19 arrived on the scene. What we do not yet know is how much of it will return, either because it can, or because of the changes we individually and collectively make. We probably have at least one more month of our current reality, then (hopefully) our new normal will set in. Continue reading

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My Happy Place

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I love, love, love my AGA!

Growing up, I do not remember ever cooking with anyone. Not my mother, not my grandmothers, not anyone. What I do remember is the many good meals I had at the home of my youth group leaders, Jean and Marshall Jackson, who took me home from church with them most Sundays during my teens. It was in their home that I was fed in more ways than with food.  Seated together as a family at their table, I experienced having good home-cooked food and nourishing conversation. I have never thought about this until now, but that is where my love affair with home and food began. It continued in the kitchens and at the tables of my first Mother-in-Law, MawMaw, and Shirshee, who became my chosen other mother and daughter Tara’s other grandmother. These three women, Jean Jackson, Miriam Pennington, and Shirley Davis sparked my love for food and family, and I can still see and feel their kitchens and tables, laden with delicious food and more love than I had ever known. Continue reading

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Our Current Reality

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Spring is here and Easter is coming, even when our current reality can have us focused only on survival.

This is my fifth day of (partial) self-quarantine.  While not (yet) required, my husband and I have remained in our home most of the time for the past five days. I have mainly only gone out to the grocery stores. I have also supported the drive-through at Starbucks and made one trip to TJ Maxx. Mike has ventured out to his office a couple of days, being only one of two (physically distanced) people there. I think for both of us our outings have been more for diversion than anything else. The rest of the time we have hunkered down at home, doing what we do during normal times; Mike on his computer, and me in the kitchen. So far, it has not been too difficult. That will certainly change if this current reality becomes our new normal. Continue reading

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