Traditions and Memories

Posted on February 26, 2022 by Patti Fralix
At Winona’s in Steamboat, our breakfast tradition on our departure day.

Another month is soon to end, and another year is well underway. Time passes on, and changes continue to occur. In our part of the country, one change that is happening and that is greeted with appreciation is the relaxing of COVID restrictions. I am grateful that our family has (so far) escaped the virus, and do not take this gift for granted.

At Winona’s in Steamboat two years ago. The children have grown, and some of us have aged!
January 2018 at Winona’s. MoMo was with us on this trip.

Speaking of family, one only needs to look at our children to understand the power of change. Mike and I just returned from our (almost annual) family trip to Steamboat Springs, Colorado. While our daughter  Tara and family travelled to Park City last year to ski, Mike and I did not make that trip. Most years our daughter Tara and her family and Mike and I travel to Steamboat Springs in January or February, although some years other family members have been with us. One year Uncle Barry was with us. Daughter Chatham has been to Steamboat with us a couple of times, and her husband Johnathan was along for the trip once, but grandson Drew has yet to make the trip. Our dear friend MoMo has also travelled with us to Steamboat and has a skiing injury to remember that year by!

This photo of (Left) Mary Grace (soon to be 17!) and (Right) Elsie (15) shows how much they have grown. I am so thankful for our traditions and memories.

As Mike and I have aged, we have spent more time indoors in Ski Town USA, as Steamboat is known, than outside in the snow. We are fine with Tara, Stephen, Mary Grace, Elsie, and Virginia skiing while we sit by the fire and enjoy our surroundings. Although we did ski in our younger years, we have decided that it is not worth the risk to our older bodies to get on the slopes at our current ages.

A winter wonderland in Steamboat
Virginia on the slopes.

Our family has enjoyed traveling together and creating traditions and memories. Photos are an important record of traditions and memories. As I look back on our trips to Steamboat, I am amazed at how much we have all changed. One can certainly use the word “aged” for the changes we older ones have experienced, but words that better express the changes our children have experienced are “grown and developed.” Our photos of our trips to Steamboat through the years reflect these changes better than any other tangible example. These changes reinforce to me the importance of making time to be together, creating traditions and memories that will last forever. And of course, our traditions and memories can be made at home, they do not have to involve traveling to ski resorts.

(Front) Virginia, (Left) Elsie, (Center) Mary Grace, (Right) Tara, and (Back) Stephen shopping on Lincoln Avenue in Steamboat, the only day not on the slopes.

This blog post completes the posts for February, whose theme has been “Relationships.” I began the month with a focus on relationships with ourselves. In this last blog post of the month, the relationship of focus is family.

A wonderful message found at the entrance to Winona’s, our favorite breakfast restaurant in Steamboat.

What traditions and memories has your family created? It is never too late to get started.               

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Celebrating Special Days

Posted on February 19, 2022 by Patti Fralix
Some of my Valentine’s roses and photos of a past family skiing trip in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, where we often spend the Presidents’ Day holiday. 

Special days come around quite often. We just celebrated Valentine’s Day earlier this week, and the upcoming Monday is President’s Day. While it is tempting to think that these special days are mainly for retail’s benefit, or to give us an extra holiday from school and work, they are really more important than that. We should recognize these days for their true meaning.   

Mike and me celebrating Valentine’s Day February 2021 at Duffers at Oak Island Golf Club. Valentine’s Day 2022 we spent at home.

Valentine’s Day is all about love and relationships. If you didn’t show your loved ones what they mean to you on this day set aside for this, you missed an opportunity. While some do bemoan Valentine’s Day and refuse to participate in what they see as just a poorly fabricated holiday that benefits retailers, Valentine’s Day is more than that. While you may have supported the florists and chocolatiers, perhaps you were more creative and chose a gift that was not one given by the masses. Regardless, how you showed your affection to loved ones is not the point, as long as you did. It would be a shame if you let Valentine’s Day pass and failed to show your affection for your loved ones. And although a tangible gift was not necessary to do so, the giving of a tangible gift is the more common route chosen. Now that Valentine’s Day 2022 has passed, you have a full year to prepare for next year’s Valentine’s Day.

Presidents’ Day is an American holiday, established in 1885 to honor the February 22nd birthday of our first President, George Washington. In 1971, the holiday was moved to the third Monday in February, creating more three-day weekends for workers. At that time what had been known as Washington’s Birthday became Presidents’ Day, honoring all presidents. Also, some states have expanded the celebration to include honoring others than presidents, those considered leaders past and present. The day is also specifically targeted to give retail the opportunity to have Presidents’ Day sales. Car dealerships in particular have long weekend sales, although that may not be the same this year with the shortage of cars to sell.

At the shoppes at the Venetian in Las Vegas in 2020.

Many people in our country are polarized, especially over politics and vaccines. Perhaps we should remember the words of our first president, George Washington. Washington left us many lessons after he left office, perhaps the most profound found in these words, “Observe good faith and justice towards all nations; cultivate peace and harmony with all.”

The retail expert on the Today Show recommends furniture, mattresses, and appliances are the purchases to make this Presidents’ Day weekend. 

Peace and harmony can be found again among all nations and all people, if we are willing to set aside our differences and grant others the respect and dignity which we all deserve. Perhaps we can combine the lessons found in Washington’s words with the love for others expressed on Valentine’s Day.

Our first President, George Washington.

Let’s let love, good faith, and justice for all guide our hearts and our actions.                 

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Relationship Matters

Posted on February 9, 2022 by Patti Fralix
Having relationships with those who make our heart smile helps our heart and our life!

February is Heart Month. Heart month is about the relationship that we have with ourselves, and with our most vital organ, our heart. If we don’t feel good about ourselves, we do things that can abuse our heart, such as not eating well and being a couch potato. We must have a healthy relationship with ourselves to make decisions that protect our heart. Our relationship with ourself is primary to our other relationships.

Relationships take work!

Next week is Valentine’s Day, a day set aside each February that celebrates romantic love. Some espouse that Hallmark created Valentine’s Day, and that it is a day that benefits florists, candy makers, and Hallmark more than anyone else! Christmas and New Year’s have barely ended before the stores are decorated for Valentine’s Day and are full of trinkets to give our loved ones. More about romantic love next week.

An important reminder that will keep friends friends!

Valentine’s Day has been expanded in recent years to include showing affection for relatives and friends. It is unfortunate that we need a day each year that encourages us to show others how much we care about them. But the reality is that many of us are so busy that we often fail to pay attention to those who mean the most to us. There is nothing wrong with joining the throngs of others who get caught up in the Valentine’s Day celebration and focusing on the importance of our relationships. Not in a manner that is created by florists and others who benefit from what can be an artificial recognition of this celebration. But by careful acknowledgment of the importance of our relationships with others.

Loved ones show up at times of sorrow. Mike, neice Judy, and me at Uncle Barry’s graveside service. 

What is the most important way that we can show our affection for others? By giving of our time. Not by just our physical presence, but by giving our attention to those we love. It does no good to be in the same room with our children if we are all on our devices. Or worse yet, at the dinner table. We should really monitor the behavior we are showing others when we spend more time on our devices than we do truly connecting with those we say we care the most about. Or taking photos and missing the moments.

Those who are fortunate enough to have parents still living have an opportunity to spend quality time with them, regardless of the miles that may separate them. Regular phone calls are an important way to keep in touch, as are physical visits. If we do not make time for our parents while they are alive, we will have regrets when they are gone. I speak from experience on this one. How I wish I could see my mother waving at me from her window one more time.

Best friend MoMo and grandson Drew. MoMo spends quality time with all of our family!

Letters and cards are an inexpensive way to visit with those we love. I realize that handwriting is a dying art, but it is so important to take the time to put pen to paper and let those we love know that we are thinking about them. Not just by sending a card for a special event but by sending a card or note just because you are thinking of them. I was struck by the smaller number of Christmas cards that we received this year. I so enjoy receiving cards with handwritten notes from some we rarely see throughout the year. There were fewer of those this past Christmas. I sent a few notes, but not the number that I normally send. Has COVID dealt a death blow to this as well as so many other things? If anything, COVID should have given us more time at home, not less; time that can be spent writing notes and sending cards. 

Friends are an important relationship that needs to be nurtured to thrive or to even survive. It is so easy to get caught up in family priorities and to neglect our friends. We will never find the time to stay connected to others, we must make the time. We need to prioritize our friend relationships, or we may find that they are no longer present.

A sweet friend dropped off this surprise on my doorsteps recently; a mask necklace and specialty coffee. Thank you, dear Laura. 

Can you think of a time when someone, a friend or even an acquaintance, reached out and did something special for you? I am not referring to a tangible gift, although that may have occurred. It can be as simple as a “thinking of you” card or call. The example that comes immediately to mind for me happened in 1983. I had been divorced for several years and was not dating anyone. You know how Valentine’s Day can be when you are not romantically involved; lonely. A co-worker of mine gave me a Valentine’s card with the sentiment that she was thinking of me, and that she knew that I would find love again. I was so touched by her thoughtfulness, and to this day I can feel how special that was. Thank you, Jeri. I will always remember that. That gesture required Jeri to get outside of herself, to think of me, and to not just think of me, but to show me support in a very tangible way.

Some readers spend time on Facebook, “connecting” with “friends.” I enjoy Facebook for what it is, but it isn’t really “connection” in the most meaningful way, and some of my “friends” are really acquaintances. The time some spend on Facebook could be spent reaching out and truly connecting with friends in a meaningful manner.

Traditions are important with family and friends, such as this Christmas lunch at City Club Raleigh with daughter Tara and granddaughters (L) Elsie, (Front) Virginia, and (R) Mary Grace.

What about texting? Is communication by texting a meaningful connection? I suppose it can be, to a point. But texting is a form of written communication, and usually quick, best used for passing information back and forth, which is different than connection. A phone call will always be more connection than a text. While texting does have some benefits, such as it does not have to be an interruption in someone’s day. One can read the text and respond when it is convenient, which can be later than when it was received. (How much later is appropriate is a subject for another blog post.)

If relationships are important to us, we make time for them. Use this Valentine’s Day to show those who you care about how important they are to you. And not just your romantic partner.

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February is for the Heart

Posted on February 4, 2022 by Patti Fralix
I haven’t read this yet, but I am so looking forward to this latest work by one of my favorite authors.

February is all about the heart. It is American Heart Month. Also, Valentine’s Day, the holiday that celebrates love, comes in February. February 14th is Valentine’s Day, as most, maybe even all, readers know. In the spirit of celebrating the heart, I decided that my February blogs will be about relationships.

Our first relationship is with ourselves. How we feel about ourselves, our emotions, determines in large part our actions. If we have a healthy relationship with ourselves, it is easier to take good care of our heart. Taking good care of our heart includes making sure that we are heart-healthy. It includes eating healthy foods, foods that are good for our heart. It includes exercise, so that we stay physically active as long as possible. It includes having regular checkups, so we know if our cholesterol is out of control and if our blood pressure is in control, since both of these can be corrected with our behavior, and when that no longer works, with medicine. It also includes taking care of our emotional health.

A heart-healthy option for exercise.

What are healthy foods? You probably know this, even if you do not always eat healthy foods. Heart-healthy foods include foods that are low in fat, such as fish (especially salmon) vegetables (especially broccoli and Brussels sprouts,) fruit (especially blueberries) beans (especially garbanzo beans,) and olive oil (2 tablespoons/daily), and oatmeal (and other whole grains, such as quinoa.)

Exercise that is best for heart health is aerobic. Examples of exercise that is good for the heart are walking, jogging, bicycling, rowing, cross-country skiing, and swimming. Safety is a concern, especially in the winter, when ice that isn’t easily seen can accumulate. I personally do not enjoy exercise machines and gyms. I had a gym membership several times when I was younger, and after realizing that I do not like machines and gyms, I no longer even attempt to join a gym. Walking is my preferred exercise, and when it is too cold for me to walk outside, there is always the mall. Walking in the mall also breaks up the monotony of walking, since one can sightsee, and yes, even shop, if we are so inclined. When I am able to walk in my neighborhood, it takes less time and effort (and saves money!)

A heart-healthy meal, and so delicious!

A discussion of heart health should include a focus on emotional health. Our almost two-year experience with COVID has resulted in some damage to the emotional health of many. We are, hopefully, on the other side of COVID, but not out of the woods completely yet. Dependent upon where one lives, and the restrictions on gathering and masks, our emotional health related to this, can vary considerably. I am basically very healthy and am vaccinated and boosted and have felt safe to go to restaurants and gather with friends and family since mid-2020. As such, I have not suffered the extreme loss of connection that those who have not been as active can feel. Even so, some of my friends have not felt as safe to gather, and I have missed being with them. Also, our world has changed dramatically, and some of those changes have adversely affected me and Mike. Life is not as easy as it was pre-COVID and may never be again. We do have a new normal, and those who can and do adjust to the new normal are better equipped emotionally than those who can’t and/or don’t. 

What are healthy emotions? Joy is the healthiest emotion, and yet joy escapees some people, in part due to the changes we have been experiencing. COVID is not the only change. Aging is another change, and since I recently became 70 years of age, I am dealing with this change. Another healthy emotion is happiness. Happiness is more external whereas joy is more internal. Positive experiences can cause happiness, yet joy can be felt just by feeling gratitude.

The only one we can really control is ourselves!

All healthy emotions are not positive. Sadness, disappointment, and grief, while more negative emotions, can be heart-healthy. What is most important regarding emotions is to express them in a healthy manner, to not suppress them. The value of talk therapy cannot be overrated, whether the talk therapy is with a supportive friend or a professional therapist. Sometimes the use of medicine is appropriate to treat conditions such as depression and should be coupled with talk therapy with a professional. This is my opinion and is not intended to be medical advice.

When we have a healthy relationship with ourselves, we are better able to have positive connections with others.  We are a relationship-oriented species, so connection with others is very important. So, it is time to look in the mirror and decide if we like what we see. Do we like ourselves? Do we value ourselves? Now, this does not have to mean that we like everything about ourselves, but that in general, we are happy with who we are. If so, we are better able to take action on being heart-healthy, such as healthy eating and exercising, so we can better take care of our most vital organ, our heart.

How is your heart?

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Business Success

Posted on January 27, 2022 by Patti Fralix
A very important message now with so many businesses short staffed.

In today’s world, standing out from the crowd is preferable to being an also-ran. With COVID-19 still among us, supply chain challenges and staffing shortages are adversely impacting many businesses’ ability to be successful. Anything that can positively differentiate a business and make it stand out above other like businesses is important. Being a commodity does not differentiate one from others, and businesses that are more commodity-driven are at greater risk.

A business with a specialty niche has a greater chance of being successful than a commodity does, all other variables being equal. However, having a specialty niche does not guarantee success. Business is much more complex than that.

9-year-old granddaughter Virginia readied our room when we visited recently, including preparing our linens. She knows more about service than many adults!

Knowing one’s customers and what makes them one’s customers is critical to business success. It is not possible to consistently meet your customers’ expectations if those aren’t known. Knowing your market is also necessary. If your market is the luxury market, your customers have different expectations than those of a commodity market.    

Cash flow is critical to a business’s success. Many good businesses have closed due to cash flow issues. In today’s times, this may be even more important than ever. During the past two years, many businesses have not been able to serve customers due to mandates related to the pandemic. Many of those were not able to make it through these times. With fewer paying customers able to purchase what the business was selling, cash flow problems put the nail in the coffin of many businesses. The food service industry has been hit especially hard in this regard.

Why do some brands make it difficult and time consuming to know how to launder their garments?! This helps to decode the symbols.

All have certainly not been doom and gloom during the pandemic, however. The pandemic created new jobs and new businesses, such as the making of masks and the increase in the need for hand sanitizers. These items quickly became commodity items, with style as the main differentiator, followed closely behind by cost. As such, the demand for any particular brand is limited, and the growth in these commodity items alone cannot provide sufficient profit to make these businesses strong.

Weight Watchers (WW) has tools posted to help its customers by reinforcing important messages. 

Quality has become even more important during the pandemic than it is during “normal” times. Quality is often related to cost and value, and poor quality is costly. With many people having less disposable income and holding tightly to what they have, fearing the unknown, they have not been as likely to replace items that are in good condition as frequently.

One of the many positive motivational quotes posted in an elementary school where Virginia played basketball this week. This school is providing excellent service to its students with these affirmations. 

It is probable that some of our buying values have changed during the pandemic. Before the pandemic, we had already seen a shift from buying tangible items or things to interest in and purchasing experiences. In the past two years of COVID, this trend has accelerated. While engaging in experiences has been limited in part due to COVID and especially travel restrictions, it is clear that the interest in time spent with loved ones has increased significantly. For many people creating memories through experiences has taken on greater meaning. Now that we are finally beginning to see positive changes in COVID numbers in many states, we can expect the interest in travel, including international travel, to peak. Many people are more than ready to get out and engage in life again at a different level than has been possible these past two years.

A great idea! This allows customers to open doors without touching with their hands. Found in a convenience store and McDonalds in SC. 

Is your business positioned for the return to more normal business activity? Or are you still posting “Help Wanted” signs, using lack of staff as an excuse for a variety of business problems? If so, and your business is a commodity business, expect your competition to figure out solutions that will render your business obsolete. If your business is a specialty business, expect your customers to have greater expectations of you. If you meet or exceed those expectations, the business you experience can be exponentially appreciated.

Of these, commodity or specialty, which provides a greater opportunity for success? Where is your business positioned, and if you do not like the answer to this question, what will you do to change?

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Customer Service at its Finest

Posted on January 20, 2022 by Patti Fralix
Lovely tulips from good friend, MoMo. 

Feeling appreciated is something most people appreciate! When was the last time you received a note of appreciation from a salesperson at a store with whom you do business? Or any positive connection from anyone at companies with whom you do business? My answer to this question is, “A few days ago!” I received two emails last week from two different people showing that they appreciate my business. This made such a positive impact on me that it motivated me to connect with my customers.

An important message found on the wall in a local Starbuck’s, another example (usually!) of good service.

A salesperson at one of my favorite stores, Saks, sent me the following email: “Thank you for your recent visit to Saks Fifth Avenue in Raleigh. It was my pleasure to assist you. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you need anything. I look forward to seeing you again.” My purchase that generated that email was a pair of tights. I do not know the salesperson, she was just one who I saw and asked to help me checkout. While I do love Saks, I probably average going to the store in Raleigh no more than once a quarter. But most times that I do, shopping at Saks is a positive experience. My favorite Saks store is in NYC on Fifth Avenue, which I am usually able to visit once a year. I love Saks because of the quality of the merchandise, the customer service in general,  and the “extra’s” provided, such as how the purchases are wrapped in tissue paper and placed in quality Saks bags.

The other email that I received was from someone identified in the Customer Experience Team at Magic Spoon, a healthy cereal company that I discovered through a podcast by Seth Godin. Magic Spoon is the only cereal that I eat, and before becoming a customer, I did not eat cereal at all! But I became a convert to this healthy and delicious cereal through the influencer that I trust, Seth Godin. The cost of the cereal is approximately $2.00 a bowl. The nutritional value makes this well worth the cost.

I do need to order some Magic Spoon cereal, but I have not yet since I am traveling some, and have not wanted the cereal to arrive when I wasn’t home. The email that I received from Clara at Magic Spoon was, “It’s been a while since we’ve last seen you over at Magic Spoon, and I wanted to make sure you have everything you need to keep those bowls full! We’re grateful to have you in the Magic Spoon community, and we’re excited to see you again soon.” Now, I felt so valued when I read those words. I realize that this is a smart marketing strategy, but that is not the impression that it made on me.

I love Nordstrom, usually, but not this recent experience at Nordstrom Rack. No separate line for returns. The line did move fast, but not what I expect from Nordstrom, even in these times. 

Neither of these emails felt like a typical sales pitch, and they weren’t, since I am a customer of many stores and businesses, and most of the others do not reach out and touch me in this manner. The emails felt personalized and made me feel valued as a customer. I immediately thought of my customers and realized that I need to check in with them, and not wait for them to contact me. Not just for future business, but for past business, because they have been an important part of my business, and me. I have lists of customers who I can contact, and let them know that I appreciate them.

Relaxing by a lovely fire while waiting for the snow and ice to come to Raleigh. Now waiting again today! 

It is a new year. It is time to reconnect with those people and companies that have been a part of my success. Thank you to my Saks and Magic Spoon salesperson for connecting with me, and being a stimulus for me to do the same with my customers.

How about you? Is there anyone that you need to contact, and show your appreciation for them? Is this the week for you to do so?

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Retail Is In Trouble

Posted on January 11, 2022 by Patti Fralix
Decorating Christmas cookies with the grandchildren is much more fun than shopping! Nine-year-old Virginia designed and created this totally by herself!

Many people shop in January to take advantage of after-Christmas sales. I am one of those, having been to the outlet malls and other malls recently. I am amazed at the lack of customers shopping in physical stores. While I realize that some people prefer online shopping, I prefer to get up close and personal with the merchandise. Either I am in the minority preferring to shop in physical stores, or fewer people are shopping in general. While the lack of customers may be good from a COVID standpoint, from a retail standpoint, it worries me. We need retail to get back to normal if our economy is going to begin to return to normal.

Sales are prevalent, yet the sales do not seem to be making much of an impact. While I did buy more because many items are on sale, I did not do any impulse buying. I had a list of what I wanted/needed to buy, and pretty much stuck to it. Sales are good for those who wait for the sales before making a purchase, yet something being on sale is no reason to buy. If we don’t need it before it goes on sale, there is no reason for us to buy it just because it is on sale.

This year’s Sterling ornament arrived after Christmas due to supply chain issues. Each grandchild gets a Sterling ornament each year. 

While shopping I also did not buy some items that I considered, deciding that I could do with what I had in that category until another season comes around. If I have been fine with wearing the number of pants and tops that I have had this season before now, why would I need to buy more, even if they are on sale? Also, I know that I wear the same clothes most of the time, leaving some perfectly good clothes hanging in the closet. Given this, why should I buy more? What I should do before even considering purchasing anything else new is go through my closet and get rid of items I have obviously not been wearing. My daughter and granddaughters had a major purge in their closets last week. I need to do the same.

While my choices may be good for my personal budget, they are not good for the economy in general, particularly in the short term, especially if my choices are indicative of a trend. On the other hand, perhaps the trends can be the beginning of changes that could improve quality and perhaps even costs. I would like to see manufacturers and retailers pay attention to the trends, and make fewer items of better quality, beginning to turn the tide of excess inventory of poor-quality items.

Given this truth, how and where we spend our money should be intentional and consistent with our values. 

Another trend may be a factor in less purchasing. There is a lot of noise online about decluttering, and there are many books about that subject in stores and online. The philosophy behind decluttering includes paring down, not just clearing spaces. I believe this trend is also a factor in people buying less. What is not yet clear is whether the purchasing power is shifting to other things, such as experiences and electronics instead of clothes and personal products.

I want less stuff, but what I have I want to be of beauty and quality. 

Retail stores are in trouble, even if retail purchasing isn’t. How long will malls be able to hang on without walk-in customers? The sheer cost of the real estate makes malls and other stores without sufficient foot traffic in danger of closing their doors. This has already begun happening, and I predict we will see more of this in the near future.

And we will need less stuff!

What can be done to help keep retail strong? In addition to retail being an important part of our communities, there is a financial incentive to keep retail strong since we depend on its tax revenue.

One of my favorite salad dressings, discovered by following a favorite influencer, whose blog is Between Naps on the Porch. I first bought it from Amazon; now available from Fresh Market, and (hopefully) other local grocers. 

Loyalty should begin at home. When we can, we should shop local, vowing to keep our small businesses in business. While I am an Amazon Prime customer and doubt that anything I do will change the strength of Amazon, when I can, I should support local businesses that have the same or similar merchandise. Our daughter is a great example of this. She bought gift cards from her local independent bookseller for her three daughters for a year of books. A few customers that are this committed to a local business could be the difference in a business staying in business.

What about you? What are you doing to keep retail strong in your communities? What can we all begin doing?  

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A Restaurant That is An Institution

Posted on January 7, 2022 by Patti Fralix

Restaurants that become an institution are rare. There is one in Raleigh, Angus Barn. Until this week, I only knew of Angus Barn as such an institution. I now know of two, Angus Barn in Raleigh and Sea Captain’s House in Myrtle Beach. Mike and I discovered Sea Captain’s House by accident, and I am so glad we found it, for it is now a favorite that I hope to visit time and again.

Looking for a place for lunch, wanting a salad and fresh fish, I googled “restaurants for salad and fresh fish.” The first restaurant that popped up was Sea Captain’s House. Interestingly enough, the restaurant was close to where we were staying, so we decided to try it. When we arrived at the restaurant, I was smitten by the physical structure. The white frame building was charming. When we entered the restaurant, it was welcoming and warm, in part a function of the décor, and in part due to the fire in the fireplace in the lobby. We were greeted by the hostess, Susan, who was friendly and informative. She told us that the restaurant has been in business for sixty years. I told her how thrilled I was that we had found it, that I could tell it would be a great experience. She said she was also glad that we had found it, that it would be a great experience, and then showed us to our table.

The Grilled Shrimp and Berry Salad that I had was delicious, and it was one of the best salads I have ever had. The hush puppies that were brought for the table were also very good, light and slightly sweet. The fried oysters that Mike had were good. The food was all very good, yet many restaurants have good food.

The Grilled Shrimp and Berry Salad.

Good food alone does not an institution make. One expects good food from a reputable restaurant. The restaurant had much more going for it than good food. The care and attention that had been given to all aspects of the business was what set it apart. This was made obvious to us when the Assistant General Manager, Ethan Phillips, came to our table to welcome us, and shared information about the establishment, along with the information given to us by Susan, the hostess.

Other tasty menu options.

Sea Captain’s House opened in 1962, and the children of the original owners are now at the helm. The owners know all of the staff. One of the staff members, Marie, has been on the staff for forty years, and this is the only job she has ever had.  Susan has been on staff for eleven years. The owners treat the staff as “one of them, like family.” Susan said there are three rules: “Be on Time, Do Your Job, and Go Home.” “Go Home” means do not bring your personal stuff to work with you; leave it at home, and when your work is finished, go home. It is interesting that pay was never mentioned.

The décor of the restaurant was relaxed chic, with a “clubbish” feel. Ethan Phillips told us that the restaurant’s décor is changed out every year. Every year window treatments are replaced and the restaurant is painted. As I looked around, it did not seem that either was needed, although the restaurant would close in a few days for the yearly refurbishment. Yet while it might not be “needed,” redoing the décor yearly keeps it fresh.

A lovely ocean view.

What are the lessons other businesses can learn from Sea Captain’s House? I have three takeaways.

  1. Treat the Staff like Family, yet hold them accountable. Make your rules clear.
  2. Manage by Walking Around. Be present, consistently.
  3. Keep it Fresh. The décor, the food, and the entire establishment. Even after sixty years, and for the next sixty years.  
Happy New Year!

Is your business an institution, capable of staff wanting to work there for forty years? Do staff who work with you feel the pride that was obvious in Susan and Ethan, pride so palpable that it can be felt by customers?  Are you providing just a job, or traditions that will last for many years?

Not every establishment can be an institution like Angus Barn and Sea Captain’s House. But many more can be than are. What about your business? Are you up for the challenge?

Why not get started?

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Goodbye to 2021

Posted on December 31, 2021 by Patti Fralix
Sunrise Christmas morning 2021.

It is hard to believe that another year closes today, and a new one opens tomorrow. 2021 was a year of many challenges, from COVID-19 to Delta and now to Omicron. There have also been other challenges for many people, including job challenges and financial worries. In spite of it all, those of us who are able to read this, and me who is able to write it, also should be grateful for our blessings. While I marvel at being seventy years old, an age I became at the end of November, I also marvel at a life that I have been blessed to live.

My family life as a child was difficult. I lived with various relatives, moving around as my mother tried her best to cope with the challenges her life included. She left high school at an early age and went to work to help support her mother and siblings. She was smart, but not in the choices she made. She did the best she could, and when she was not able to provide a stable environment for me, she reached out to family and made sure that I was taken care of. My mother passed away in 1998 at sixty-four years of age. I miss her and wish that we had been able to connect more often and on a deeper level. But we did the best that we could. As a child, I was not responsible for some of what happened to me. As an adult, I am totally responsible.

One of our Christmas traditions. The girls cannot come downstairs until everyone is up!

As an adult, I became responsible for my own choices. One example comes to mind. When I realized that my wine consumption was not healthy for me, almost three years ago I stopped drinking alcohol completely. I did not want to risk that habit taking control as it had in my mother’s life. As an adult, I am responsible for my own choices, and have no one, not even genetics, to blame for any of my behavior. I am (at least, I think) mentally healthy, and as such, my behaviors are a result of the choices I make. If mental illness was a factor, things would be different.

Nine-year- old Virginia is quite the baker and very creative. This is her Peppermint cake.

So, I conquered my drinking habit before it became an addiction. What I have not conquered is my spending habit. Managing my money better was a 2021 goal that I have not met. I will carry this goal into 2022 and have some specifics that I will implement to increase the likelihood that I will be more successful in this area.

Elsie, Nana, Virginia, Tara, and Mary Grace at City Club Raleigh for lunch, a recent Christmas tradition.

The end of a year and the beginning of another one is a great time to reset, to decide what we want to change to have more of the life that we want. Managing money better is at the top of my list. I also plan to declutter more. I began that process with the listing of our home for sale. An update on that is in order. While we did receive two offers for our home, neither one was the price we wanted, so we took it off the market and are resetting in that area. We may do some painting in the spring and re-list it for sale, or we may decide to stay put for another year or two. We are happy with what we did and know that it was the right decision to make to stay put for now.

Our home for awhile longer.

How about you? How did you do in 2021 related to the commitments that you made to yourself at the beginning of the year? What does 2022 hold for you?

Stay safe tonight and welcome the New Year in on Saturday with a clear head. Greens, black-eyed peas, and other traditional New Year’s food await.                    

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Merry Christmas To All

Posted on December 22, 2021 by Patti Fralix
Our smallest tree ever! By the time we went to pick out our tree, all of the larger ones were gone everywhere!

There are only a few days left before Christmas. Christmas is most of all a religious holiday, the celebration of the birthday of Jesus. In the midst of all of the frivolity, it is important to center ourselves and remember the true meaning of Christmas. May we celebrate the birth of the Christ child, and not let the real meaning of Christmas escape us. If there was ever a time that we need to do so, it is now. From new outbreaks of COVID to our increased political divide, we are more in need of the Savior than ever before.

This year’s family ornament. Those who are on the ornament are who sleep over Christmas Eve. That is the rule! 

Christmas has a secular meaning as well, from trees to presents, and all that goes with the season. May your holiday be merry and bright, as you (hopefully are able to) gather with loved ones and celebrate. As we open our gifts, let’s remember those who are less fortunate, and remember to be thankful for all of our blessings.

This church, the wooden standing Santa, and the sitting Santa were all made for me by a dear friend, Shirshee Davis, who was like a mother to me. 

It is important for us to remember that this season is not a happy one for everyone. I just heard of the passing of a mother whose funeral is today. Christmas will forever have a new meaning for this family. There are also many in our midst who are dealing with a myriad of challenges and doing their best to enjoy the season for their loved ones.

I imagine some of my readers have a tree just like this! 
Granddaughter Virginia making Christmas Aggression cookies!

Some of you will be missing family members who were present last year. My dear Uncle Barry will be sorely missed as our family gathers this year. As I look around our home, I am comforted by gifts from him in years past, including lighted penguins and snowflakes on the ceiling. While the physical presence of our departed loved ones is missing, our memories are with us forever.

May you and your loved ones have a peaceful and joyful holiday!

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